Arab Damsel in (Cultural) Distress

Frustration in the Grocery Line

2010-02-09T02:13:00.004+04:00

Remind me never to initiate small talk when I'm in line in New York. Or at least, not when the economy is this bad.

The Rite Aide across the street from my apartment in Manhattan always has a long line at the checkout counters, mostly because the place is understaffed. Nothing new here. Downsizing on staff has been one of the biggest consequences of the global economic downturn, but I was just trying to be "friendly" to the lady behind me and mustered: "There are always understaffed here, huh?"
And it's as if I begged this woman to fume at the political state of the the U.S.
"It's all around the country honey. And it is only going to get worse. We got idiots in Congress and an idiot in the White House.
And you know what he wants to do now? Stop NASA. The only thing that brought us to the 21st century. We're going back to windmills. You just see."

Just as she's done spewing out her 2 cents, it's time for me to pay for my stuff. Nothing like a 10 minute wait in line to give you a taste of New York.

On Commencement Speakers and Big Foreign Names

2009-06-17T13:25:00.002+04:00

Local graduates could use local advice on their big day

(By Tala Al Ramahi | The National | Published June 16, 2009)

“We live in a world far more slavish in its obedience to ancient custom than we like to admit. And ancient commencement day custom demands that somebody stand up here and harangue the poor graduates until they beg for mercy.”

Russell Baker, Connecticut College commencement address, 1995

Most of us probably don’t remember what was said at our college commencement speeches, thanks partly to the gift of time that makes us forget. And most graduates are eager to walk into “real” life as its new saviours (or just to make lots of money), and on graduation day, they just want the speech over with so they can start the “real” celebration.

Since in those days we already knew it all, we might not remember any of the lessons that commencement speakers delivered, but we rarely forget who it was that made the speech. In the United States, a university commencement speaker is usually a distinguished professional in his field, preferably someone with celebrity status, and is almost always affiliated to the university in one form or another.

Prestigious universities pride themselves in being able to snatch the “big fish”, because big names (the university) inevitably attract big names (the speaker), but also because prestigious universities graduate a fair amount of prospective pioneers who eventually become the big fish, who then come back to deliver the big speech.

I remember when Stanford University announced the commencement speaker for the 2007 graduating class; a flurry of editorials and op-eds thronged the student newspaper questioning the university’s choice: who is Dana Gioia? For the record, he’s an American poet an advocate for the arts.

But why couldn’t we get someone like Steve Jobs or the US supreme court justice Sandra Day O’Conner. Heck, why couldn’t we get Sergey and Larry (aka, “the google guys”). We could have pretended that they hadn’t dropped out of the Stanford PhD programme to become richer than any of us with degrees could ever hope to be.

I don’t remember much from the speech Mr Gioia gave that scorching California day, but I acutely remember him poking fun at our concerns that he wasn’t famous enough. “I couldn’t agree more,” he told us.

The following year Oprah Winfrey delivered the school’s commencement address. I think the class of 2007 bitterly remembers 2008 as the year the university compensated for our disgruntlement by giving those that followed us the most powerful name in entertainment and the richest self-made woman in America.

It seems commencement speeches in the United Arab Emirates are not given as much significance. Premier institutions such as the Abu Dhabi University and the American University of Sharjah, for instance, do not follow such a regular tradition.

On the other hand, the American University of Dubai, despite its youth as an institution, has managed to attract influential figures, most recently Colin Powell, and in the past other renowned personalities, such as Steve Forbes, Christiane Amanpour and Bill Clinton.

While such names deserve to deliver a university’s commencement address, why can’t we capitalise on the talent we have in this region? In the 11 years that AUD has “sent off” its graduating class into the real world, none of its commencement speakers were regionally-based.

Because most of our institutions are so new, it is understandable that the commencement speaker will not necessarily be affiliated to the university which invites them to speak, since it usually takes many years, if not decades, after graduation to reach a position of authority where one becomes an internationally recognised name.

That said, it won’t be a hard task to poach locally-based personalities to deliver a commencement address that can communicate the unique struggles of our region and who can touch on distinct themes that students here can relate to.

The challenge is crafting the speech itself. After all, what do you tell a group of students who think they know it all? What can you say that will make them remember a lesson from that 15 minute oration?

A new batch of local graduates have been sent off to this scary world called life. Let’s make sure next year’s cap-and-gown clad students hear something equally engaging from someone who got a regional taste of the journey that they will be about to begin.

talramahi@thenational.ae

Wise Words from Bono, Oprah at UPenn, Stanford and elsewhere

2009-06-16T14:37:00.011+04:00

My column for tomorrow's paper is about Commencement speeches and,... actually, I won't tell you the part after the 'and' or else you won't read it (that is assuming somebody reads my column).
So naturally, I was doing some research on Commencement speeches, specifically those made at American Universities in the U.S.

I've been through the transcripts of a bunch of the most memorable ones, and had to share some excerpts with you from the ones I thought were the best. Read the quotes, but I highly encourage you to watch a number of them in full on Youtube.

My two favorites from unlikely personalities who delivered addresses at Ivy Leagues: Rock-star Bono, and author JK Rowling. Although I have to sheepishly admit I've never read a single Harry Potter book, Ms Rowling's address to Harvard was fantastic. Click on the hyperlink below for her full youtube video.

I couldn't find Bono's video on youtube, so here's the full transcript. Definitley worth reading.
Both have done a great job of providing life lessons with good humour and without sounding condescending or boring.
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From: '10 Ways to Avoid Mucking Up the World Any Worse Than it Already Is.', Russell Baker, 1995 Commencement Address to Connecticut College.

"Nine: get married. I know you don't want to hear this, but getting married will give you more satisfaction in the long run than your BMW. It provides a standard set of parent for your children and gives you that second income you will need when it's time to send those children to Connecticut College. What's more, without marriage, you will have practically no material at all to work with when you decide to write a book or hire a psychiatrist. "

From: The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination, JK Rowling, 2008 Commencement Address to Harvard University.

"You might never fail on the scale I did, but some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all- in which case, you fail by default."

"And many prefer not to exercise their imaginations at all. They choose to remain comfortably within the bounds of their own experience, never troubling to wonder how it would feel to have been born other than they are. They can refuse to hear screams or to peer inside cages; they can close their minds and hearts to any suffeering that does not touch them personally; they can refuse to know.I might be tempted to envy people who can live that way, except that I do not think they have any fewer nightmares than I do."

From: 'Because We Can, We Must', Bono, 2004 Commencement Address to University of Pennsylvania.

"I know idealism is not playing on the right right now, you don't see it on TV, irony is on heavy rotation, and knowingness, the smirk, and the tired joke. I've tried them all out but I'll tell you this, outside this campus- even inside it-- idealism is under siege beset by materialism, narcissm and all the other isms of indifference. Baggasim, Shaggism, Raggism, Notism, graduatism, chismism. I dont know, Where's John Lennon when you need him?"

"Because at that moment I became the worst scrouge on God's green earth: a rockstar with a cause. Christ! Except it isn't the cause. Seven thousand Africans die every of preventable, treatable diseases like AIDS? That's not a cause, that's an emergency."

From: Oprah Winfrey's 2008 Commencement Speech at Stanford University.

"So, let me end with one of my favorite quotes from Martin Luther King. Dr. King said, "Not everybody can be famous." And I don't know, but everybody today seems to want to be famous.But fame is a trip. People follow you to the bathroom, listen to you pee. It's just—try to pee quietly. It doesn't matter, they come out and say, "Ohmigod, it's you. You peed."That's the fame trip, so I don't know if you want that."

"So, I say to you, forget about the fast lane. If you really want to fly, just harness your power to your passion. Honor your calling. Everybody has one. Trust your heart and success will come to you.
So, how do I define success? Let me tell you, money's pretty nice. I'm not going to stand up here and tell you that it's not about money, 'cause money is very nice. I like money. It's good for buying things. But having a lot of money does not automatically make you a successful person. What you want is money and meaning."

(Photo Courtesy of: www.u2station.com)

Who Speaks for Islam?

2009-06-14T14:41:00.009+04:00

Dalia Mogahed, a Muslim-American woman appointed by President Obama to serve on his Advisory Council on Faith-Based and Neighbourhood Partnerships was in town last week with her research partner and equally renowned Professor John Esposito of Georgetown University.

Their visit to the UAE was part of a regional tour to present the findings of their six year survey of Muslims around the world. Last year, their book Who Speaks for Islam: What a Billion Muslims Really Think, was published in the United States, and their research is regarded as the largest survey of Muslim public opinion ever done.

And frankly, I couldn't have timed their visit any better; Last week, I wrote a column about how so-called "intellectuals" are capitalizing on American vulnerability and, sometimes, ignorance of Muslims, to sell sensationalist books. They use their unfortunate upbringing in extremist communities as a representation of their previous faith (Islam) and market themselves as the honorable dissedents who have freed themselves from the tyranny of a religion. Tyranny is un ugly thing, but a product of man rather than anything else. Most of these "intellectuals" don't seem to realize that they are just as extremist in their new beliefs as those they decry. Anyway, moving on to what this post is about.

Mrs Mogahed said the aim of their extensive study was to "democratize the debate" at a time when political pundits, and Islamophobes, even terrorists were speaking on behalf of Muslims, without actually knowing what Muslims wanted, believed or hoped for in life.

So the duo's research couldn't have come at a more critical time. With Obama's new moderate, public-diplomacy centric administration, the results of the survey will only further Obama's argument that our similarities are more marked than our differences.

I am not sure if the book is available in Abu Dhabi bookstores, but I got my copy from Kounikounya bookstore at The Dubai Mall. I also got it signed by Professor Esposito himself, at the June 10, 2009 Abu Dhabi leg of the tour. Yay!

Here's what came out of their talk:

Diversity downgrades political influence of US Muslims

By Tala Al Ramahi

ABU DHABI // A lack of focus has prevented Muslim Americans from becoming a serious political force in that country, one of president Barack Obama’s advisers on Islamic issues said during a speech in Abu Dhabi.,

Dalia Mogahed, who advises president Obama on the attitudes and values of Muslims, said the American Muslim community had failed “in being a political power that Americans can take seriously” compared with other religious minorities in the United States. The reason, she said, was that the American political system “favours people who are very focused and organised, and Muslim Americans are neither of those things”.

She added that Muslim Americans are “very diverse”, that “makes it difficult for them to organise around one political platform”.

President Obama appointed Mrs Mogahed to serve on the Advisory Council on Faith-Based and Neighbourhood Partnerships. She is one of two Muslims on the 25-member council.

Mrs Mogahed, co-author of the book Who Speaks for Islam: What a Billion Muslims Really Think, was addressing about 200 people, including scholars and members of the public, at the Emirates Center for Strategic Studies and Research on Wednesday.

The book, is the product of a six-year study conducted by Mrs Mogahed and John Esposito, a professor of religion, international affairs and Islamic studies at Georgetown University in Washington, DC. Prof Esposito, the founding director of the Prince Alwaleed Bin Talal Center for Muslim-Christian Understanding,also spoke on Wednesday.

They interviewed more than 40,000 Muslims in 40 countries that are predominantly Muslim or have substantial Muslim populations in what is regarded as the largest study of Muslim public opinion ever.

Mrs Mogahed said the idea was to “inject into the conversation relating to the Muslims and the West the voices of ordinary people.

“We found that conflict between Muslims and the West is not inevitable. It is about policy and not a clash of principle.”

Prof Esposito said: “We don’t have to rely on experts or terrorists to tell us what Muslims want. We don’t have to rely on Islamophobes on what Muslims say, because now we have the data.”

Despite the perceived differences between Muslims and other Americans after the September 11 attacks in New York City, the research found that what Muslims and non-Muslims both admired most about the West was precisely the same: technology, liberty and democracy.

“Even in such an open-ended question, there is this large level of commonality between the two groups,” said Mrs Mogahed.

When we ask people of their dreams of the future, we didn’t hear about waging war. It was about finding jobs and seeking a good education for their children.”

The majority of Muslims surveyed also said they admired Western values such as freedom of speech, democracy and access to knowledge, with the caveat that Islamic values should not be compromised in the process.

Muslims were not interested in “Western culture wholesale”, Mrs Mogahed said of those surveyed, and consistently alluded to experiencing “a profound feeling of disrespect” from the United States.

Another study the two conducted asked Americans whether they believed the Western world respected Muslims. More than half (54 per cent) said no, and one-fifth reported “a great deal of prejudice towards Muslims.” Mrs Mogahed attributed such prejudices partly to the American media.

A study by Media Tenor, a media-content analysis firm, revealed that almost 53 per cent of those who represent Islam in American TV news were “armed groups”, even though such militants constituted “a fraction” of Muslims.

However, American people are also more likely to point out that “greater interaction between Muslims and the West is a benefit,” Mrs Mogahed said.

talramahi@thenational.ae

Pic of the Day: Ease our headache, Drive a Mini.

2009-06-11T16:48:00.003+04:00

I found this prop at the entrance of the parking of Madinat Jumeirah, Dubai. Pure Genius.

His Name is Ezra Nawi. Help make sure he remains Free.

2009-06-10T17:05:00.005+04:00

Many people in this region (the Middle East, that is) do not hear about Jewish activists who put their lives in danger in order to further human rights for their neighbours, the Palestinians.
Ezra Nawi is one of them, and is likely to end up in Israeli jail for his brave attempts at stopping an Israeli bulldozer from demolishing yet another Palestinian home.
You can help do something to reverse his unfortunate fate by signing an e-letter that will reach numerous Israeli embassies across the world.

The more noise you make, the more likely you'll be heard, and the courageous men and women like Ezra Nawi will be able to continue their efforts and their hopes at reclaiming Palestinian dignity, but also a homeland- one that has been promised to the native inhabitants of that land for decades (futiley, for now).

Below is an open letter co-written by influential activists of the cause. Among them is Noam Chomski, the renowned intellectual, author, professor of linguistics and ardent activist at MIT.

Click here to sign the letter.
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Every so often someone comes along who is so brave and so inspiring that you just can't sit by and remain silent when you learn they need your help.

We're writing to you today about one of these rare people.

His name is Ezra Nawi.

You've probably never heard of him, but because you may know our names, now you will know his name.

Ezra Nawi is one of Israel's most courageous human rights activists and without your help, he will likely go to jail in less than 30 days.

His crime? He tried to stop a military bulldozer from destroying the homes of Palestinian Bedouins in the South Hebron region. These homes and the families who live in them have been under Israeli occupation for 42 years. They still live without electricity, running water and other basic services. They are continuously harassed by Jewish settlers and the military.

Nawi's friends have launched a campaign to generate tens of thousands of letters to Israeli embassies all over the world before he is due to be sentenced in July. They've asked for your help.

His name is Ezra Nawi.

We keep saying his name because we believe that the more people know him and know his name, the harder it will be for the Israeli military to send him quietly to jail.

And Ezra Nawi is anything but quiet.

He is a Jewish Israeli of Iraqi descent who speaks fluent Arabic.

He has dedicated his life to helping those who are trampled on. He has stood by Jewish single mothers who pitched tents in front of the Knesset while struggling for a living wage, and by Palestinians threatened with expulsion from their homes.

He is loved by those with little power, to whom he dedicates his life, and hated by the Jewish settlers, military and police.

Now that you know Ezra, you have a chance to stand up for him, and for everything that he represents. Especially now, as Israel escalates its crackdown on human rights and pro-democracy activists.

He needs you. His friends need you. Those he helps every day need you. So please send a letter to the Consulate, to the media, to your family and friends.

Take just a moment to write your letter. Do it now. And then share his name with a friend. Do it for Ezra Nawi.

Signed,

Noam Chomsky, Naomi Klein, and Neve Gordon

(Photo courtesy of Jewishvoiceforpeace.org)

The Danger of 'dialogue' when it's used to make deceit

2009-06-10T13:03:00.007+04:00

The danger of ‘dialogue’ when it’s used to mask deceit

Tala al Ramahi (Published June 10, 2009 | The National)

A few days ago, I received an automated e-mail from Amazon, recommending a handful of books based on my previous purchases. Infidel, by Ayan Hirsi Ali, was the first book on their list. I sniggered and contemplated sending them a suggestion of my own: your recommendation system needs more than just a tweak.

Ali, a controversial Somali author, is one of the many “intellectuals” who became increasingly popular in the United States after September 11. Given the ample time I spent in America during that period, I had the “opportunity” to actually attend some of their speaking engagements.

There was Nonie Darwish, an Egyptian-American who renounced her Muslim faith for “America, Israel and the War on Terror”. She described her upbringing as one ingrained with anti-Semitism, violent resistance against Jews and Christians, and claimed she was enlightened when she became acquainted with members of Hadassa, a Jewish group promoting religious dialogue who greeted her with a simple “shalom”. She had not found such peacefulness in her previous faith, she claimed.

She made sweeping generalisations that moderate Muslims who denounced violence were rare, and that those who did were actually “not really Muslim”. She claimed to reject jihad (a term she used to mean violence) as part of her new message of peace, and yet staunchly advocated intolerance toward members of an entire faith. Despite leaving her lecture bitter at such expressions of ignorance, I was nevertheless content that most could or would learn to see through her deceit masked as “dissent”. But for a certain readership, her themes have had legs. Two years later, she published her book, Now they Call me Infidel: Why I renounced Jihad for America, Israel and the War on Terror, now a bestseller in the United States, and as of yesterday received 4.5 out of five stars averaging its reception among 70 readers on Amazon.

Then there was Walid Shoebat, a Palestinian-American and self proclaimed “ex-terrorist” who has been “reformed” after converting to Evangelical Christianity. I was, like many others, intrigued by the publicity flyers that littered my campus: three male faces covered by the black and white Palestinian kaffiyeh. “Three Ex-Terrorists Turned Peace Activists” announced a red headline splashed across a black flyer.

Shoebat and his two other speaking partners delivered similar screeds to those of Darwish. Shoebat’s title for his first book, Why I left Jihad was also unimaginatively similar to the title of Darwish’s book. His next publication had a catchier title: Why We Want to Kill You and it received five full stars from readers on Amazon.

Many others like Shoebat have made a career out of their disingenuous message, preaching an intolerant agenda under the guise of promoting peace. Their titles are similar, and so is the spiel: renounce your faith after an extremist past and become a “reformed” advocate for the US and Israel. Sex sells, they say, but so does Jihad, apparently.

These authors have capitalised on American agony and vulnerability after September 11th, making themselves a healthy profit. After the devastating attacks, Americans desperately wanted answers: Why do they hate us? Why did they do this? Who are Muslims anyway? This disingenuous message filled a vacuum in American culture at the time, with a dearth of books and voices responding to these inquiries.

These authors were happy to indulge in telling or, in fact, misinforming them: Yes they hate you; It’s because you are free; Muslims are unlike others who practice alternative faiths because they love violence, hate America and are intolerant to other views and religions. Others fabricated pitiful pasts to better market themselves.

These authorities became self appointed spokespeople for “Muslim dissent”, even when their rhetoric was punctuated with bigotry, lacked nuance and an understanding of the complex world around them.

Their word choice was not unlike those that they decried. Words like infidel, jihad, hate, kill Jews and Christians peppered their language under the pretence of combating misogyny, anti-semitism and violence. Ironically, they often argued against interfaith dialogue as “nonsense” and moderate Muslims as “irrelevant”.

Religious pluralism and dialogue are more important now more than ever. But these are not their champions. There is nothing brave nor admirable about promoting bigotry and exploiting American vulnerability. If anything, these individuals have maintained the past patterns of thought that they claim to have left behind.

talramahi@thenational.ae

Atlantis: Look up

2009-06-09T15:47:00.010+04:00

Just finished a 850 word comment piece, so I am too drained to write anything enlightening at this time of day. For now, enjoy these photos I took at Atlantis Dubai.
The mega resort is a replica of the original that lies in the Bahamas, but if I have one word (two actually) of advice should you visit the Dubai one: Look up! Their ceilings and atria (sounds weird but apparently that's the plural of atrium) are fascinating.

Change here there and everywhere.

2009-06-08T12:28:00.009+04:00

Change has officially come to The National.

News has been floating around the blogsphere, on Arabian Business and through word of mouth but it is now out from the man himself:

Martin Newland will no longer be acting as Editor in Chief of The National newspaper.
His new title: 'Executive Editorial Director' for The National, which means he is not completely leaving our young paper.

Hassan Fattah, his former deputy is filling his spot, while Bob Cowan, former Comment Editor turned Assistant Editor, will now be Deputy Editor in Chief.

Newland's new post will allow him to take care of the business side of things: setting up business strategies for our paper and its subsidiary endevours- a job just as challenging at the moment, taking into consideration that we now live in a world that is not-so-kind to the paper industry. It's also apparently something he's been wanting to do for a while.

While he will not be leaving the building, Martin will, nevertheless, be deeply missed. His charisma, enthusiasm, and dedication to taking care of things when the sh*t fits the fan is commendable.

It is an end of an era for our young paper, but also the beginning of a new one.
(Picture: Martin Newland saying his farewell as EIC. Sorry the pic is blurry; took it with my phone. | June 8, 2009)
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On a completely unrelated note (except for the C-word), not much change happening here. *bah humbug* Politics, as usual, I guess.

THE speech, by the Greatest Orator of our time

2009-06-03T16:45:00.010+04:00

Tomorrow will mark a new (probably, astounding) development in Muslim-American relations, and so far, Obama has moved past the unproductive rhetoric of his predecessor.

Thankfully, no more 'Us Vs Them', 'they hate us for our freedoms' crap, that has marred the relationship between ordinary Americans and their comrades in the Arab world.

Our struggles are the same; now more than ever, in fact: we worry just as much about our economic future (how to afford rent during downtrodden times; will we be able to keep our jobs despite this rocky financial road?).
We long for representation, to have our voices materialized into policies. Americans have democracy, and we have long tried to find other outlets to express our discontent with our own leaders. We long for change, although this has come slower for us in the Middle East. And despite the turmoil and instability in this part of the world, we still look up at the foreboding skies, and see hope through the cracks of dawn.

After all, it is the darkest moments of the night that usher the dawn of another day.

Tomorrow, we, in the Arab world, just like our fellow Americans, are hoping for a new era. For a new beginning. A chance to renew our friendship, to learn from developed nations such as yours. But we hope we can teach you something new about us as well. For starters, that we do not hate you for your freedoms. We actually respect you for them, but we never understood why such freedoms stopped at your borders, and your nation's foreign policy wanted to cripple our own autonomy.

We also struggle with the most mundane, yet most extraordinary struggles of daily life: coping with rebellious teenage youth, dealing with crazy mother-in-laws, estranged marriages, rising school fees, and the like.
But what we long for more than anything during times like these is exactly what you voted for seven months ago: change we can believe in.

Let's hope the man who enabled Americans to believe in idealism once more, can translate that across to Cairo, so that not only his words, but also his contagious hunger for betterment is echoed in the Arab and Muslim world.

Salam. Peace. Shalom.

For Arabs: Fewer Degrees of Seperation

2009-06-03T13:11:00.004+04:00

For Arabs, there are always fewer Degrees of Seperation

Six degrees of separation, the idea that every human being is connected to every other person by at the most six links through acquaintances, was popularised by a play written by John Guare. The American psychologist Stanley Milgram experimented with the theory years later, and despite publishing an article on the matter in the 1970s, the whole premise of the theory is still regarded by many as an urban myth.

Nonetheless, whatever that sacred number connecting us all is presumed to be, advances in technology and travel have probably reduced it considerably. And regardless of technological advancements, the figure should be more like “three-degrees of separation” in the Arab world.

After all, upon meeting anyone new, we automatically practise the ritual of connecting the familial dots, drawing up our new acquaintance’s family tree in our head, and then trying to find out how that tree aligns or intersects with our own, our friend’s or the in-laws in our family.

An alternative to the proverb, “the enemy of my enemy is my friend” is that “the friend of a friend of my uncle/dad/mother is my friend”. Usually, “name dropping” is an effective means at obtaining wasta; using a family member or family of a friend of a friend to secure a job, or even expedite a local bureaucratic process, such as acquiring a date to sit for your driving test. It also somehow allows one to “transfer news” about any common links – a practice commonly known as gossiping. The news, however big or small, always manages to reach your mother.

However, sometimes, the six degrees of separation (or the presumed three degrees, for us Arabs) can be an awkward measure of “friendship”. In the UAE, and the rest of the Arab world, a family name is highly important, profoundly more so than in the United States and many other western countries. And so, upon meeting someone of Arab ancestry, we begin the process: “aah, al Ramahi. Do you know ...? And ...? He’s married to the sister of my mother-in-law, who is a Ramahi.”

The awkwardness seeps in when you least expect. For example, when you realise that your new acquaintance is, in fact, inquiring because he is not so fond of your “friend” in x-degree of separation. Or, he is very fond of that “common” friend, but a distant family member is in a feud with that person.

Digital networking sites have also made the “downside” of the six degrees theory even more awkward. Facebook, for example, now has a new “suggestions” option, where through some complicated algorithm it “suggests” friends you may know through friends you already know (maybe the algorithm is not so complicated after all). And so now, I have pending friend requests from “members of my family” in locations as distant as Sacramento, California, and places in Germany.

On the other hand, the nice thing is that wherever you are in the world, you’re unlikely to be alone. Eventually, you will find the “link” that connects you to someone you may actually like. Also, somehow knowing someone who knows someone who knows someone can introduce a compassionate urge to help them, whoever they are, which may, in turn, help mend some of our world’s most pressing problems.

Kevin Beacon, the founder of sixdegrees.org, capitalised on that compassion through social correlation by creating a charitable network that inspires people to help others that they may know.

And while the “six degrees of separation” is yet to be revised or revalidated, the phrase is now merely used as a metaphor for “it’s a small world”.

A doctoral student I met in Palo Alto, California, during my studies there turned out to be a very close friend of my dad’s cousin. During later sessions of our Arab hobby of drawing the links, I also found out that I was only one degree of separation away from one of my ultimate heroes: the late Dr Edward Said.

At times, my Arab ancestry makes me scream “this world is just too small”. But at other times, I am so thankful that I sing along to the lyrics of that popular Walt Disney anthem: It’s a small world after all.

Do my settlements make my policy look fat?

2009-06-02T14:02:00.005+04:00

Usually friends ask friends for advice, on everything from a new pair of jeans to the choice of a prospective husband.

And while the whole world knows that Israel and the U.S. have been best buddies since the start (1948 to be specific), Israel rarely did any 'soul searching' with its ally.
There were no questions like: 'do my settlements make my country look fat?' or 'have you told anyone else about my nuclear program?' or 'Do you think I'm being too mean to my foes, the Palestinians.'

Somehow, the "friendship" was based on vested interests, rather than genuine respect for the differences in each other's opinions.

And because Israel rarely asks hard questions of its American friend, its American friend -conveniently- never had to answer to hard questions to begin with. Not much has changed, except that this time, Obama is giving his advice, without any precursors from the Israelis.

He told NPR News, that he is going to be "honest" with Israel, because that is what friends do. It's about time the U.S. showed Israel some tough love, even if that means Israel decides it wants out of the dysfunctional friendship.
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Update (June 3, 2009): So I was watching a report on Al Jazeera last night with my parents, on Obama planning to be "tough" with the Israeli administration, especially on the issue of settlement expansion in occupied Palestinian territories, and then my mom snickered: "ha, he obviously doesn't know how the game works".

She may be right. A lot of American leaders start their careers promising to be different than their predecessors on such "controversial" issues as the Palestinian-Israeli conflict, but slowly drown in the realities that follow, the the subsequent low popularity ratings that ensue. Because expressing tough love to your dear friends, will only be reciprocated by a backlash from your friend's ultra conservative backers.

Time will only tell, I guess, if Obama can put up with the headache of AIPAC and the like.

Recession? What Recession?

2009-06-02T13:14:00.004+04:00

I was at Marina Mall (Abu Dhabi) yesterday, and as I walked past Gucci, I immediately did a double take. Usually I do so because a fabulous new bag is on display, but this time it was different. For starters, there were NO bags on the window display, which can be explained by the following:
There were hoards of women (and men) waiting outside the store. Even more people inside. Apparently, Gucci and the rest of the Al Tayer/Amber group stores started a massive 2-day discount extravaganza (the amount of discount varied depending on the store).
Gucci had 50 percent off everything, and the place really resembled a souk, rather than a luxury retail store. They had some store assitants "regulate" traffic by closing the doors at regular intervals.

Women were grabbing as many Gucci handbags as their hands and personal shopper assistants (aka housemaids) could carry once they were inside.
It was a little amusing, and all I could think of was: Recession? What Recession?

But then again, it could be the other way round, and the recession is actually making these people go head over heals over discounted luxury items (which we all know, is a necessity in this part of town. *Please read with sarcasm*).
My job is done here because a picture is really worth a thousand words. So here's two thousand words for your guys:

Expat Power 2009

2009-06-01T17:43:00.005+04:00

Arabian Business featured the Gulf's 50 Most Influential Expatriates, in their May 24-30, 2009 edition. (Vol 10 | Issue 21).Their editorial 'Time to Celebrate Expat Achievement' dubs these men (yep all of the fifty influential expats are M-E-N), as the "expat elite: they sit with sheiks and consort with kings".

Arabian Business lists the methodology of their Expat Power listing, but I am still perturbed that not a single woman was featured on the list. The methodology may have favored men, but then again, if these players, as the magazine suggests "sit with sheikhs and consort with kings" (the phrase is a little sensationalist, if you ask me), it makes sense that a male is more likely to make it to the top because he is welcome to mingle in the majlis.

That said, it would be interesting to know how many men follow their wives to the Gulf, in order to take a top position in the flourishing economy of the GCC. Also, how many women of the "influential expat" men actually work? How successful are they? Or are most stay at home wives, who are enjoying the lassaiz fair lifestyle of the Gulf?

Anyhow, Martin Newland, Editor in Chief of The National features on the list (No. 10!)- Wohoo.
The top expat players? Here are the Top 5:

1- Jean Paul Villain, Head of Strategy, Abu Dhabi Investment Authority (France)
2-Tony Burman, Managing Director, Al Jazeera English (Canada)
3- James Hogan, CEO, Etihad Airways (Australia)
4- Kenneth Shen, Head of Strategy, Qatar Investment Authority (United States)
5- Rick Pudner, CEO, Emirates NBD (United Kingdom).

See the full ranking here.

Music: a chance to bridge the divide

2009-06-01T15:51:00.006+04:00

A recent story 'Minuets, Sonatas and Politics in the West Bank' published in the New York Times about the flourishing classical music culture in the Palestinian territories, especially in the West Bank, reminded me of the late Dr Edward Said and the orchestra he set up with Israeli conductor and pianist, Daniel Barenboim (more on that in just a bit).

For the Palestinians living in the West Bank, music may be a form of escapism from the harsh realities of living under an unforgiving Israeli occupation. And while nothing is comparable to the life of checkpoints, identity cards and statelessness, I -myself- understand how music can become a means to escape to an alternative universe, a better place during downtrodden times.

I played the piano for almost seven years. Despite that, I am too ashamed to call myself a pianist. For starters, I haven't touched the keys of my Yamaha piano in months, and even when I do manage to haul myself onto the piano bench, I frustratingly stare at my notes for minutes on hand, trying to train my fingers to simultaneously work with my brain in order to produce...music.
Sometimes I succeed, thanks, mostly, to my habit of memorizing the pieces I used to play in the past. But other times I fail miserably with more complex pieces, and walk away from the wooden musical instrument in bitter defeat.

That said, I am still a firm believer in the power of music. In it's ability to bridge the divide of disconnected worlds ..Of making sense of the vast differences in realities, like that of the Palestinians and Israelis.

Before his death in 2003, Dr Edward Said co-founded an Arab-Israeli orchestra for the region's youth, along with Daniel Barenhoim, an Argentine-born Israeli conductor and pianist.
The Palestinian American intellectual and activist and his Israeli music partner envisioned a collaboration that could bring the two 'enemies' together, and provide them a platform where they could produce something productive together. Something other than the unrelenting cycle of violence that has marred both their lives for too long.
Unfortunately, even with a means as "neutral" as music, the orchestra has created controversy in places where the musicians performed.

Many critics said such a collaboration is merely a way to detract from the inherent issue of justice and statehood for the Palestinians, however, those who are familiar with Dr Said's efforts for the Palestinian cause will know just how adamant he was about securing justice for his comrades in the West Bank and Gaza.
Even Borenhoim, the Israeli conductor who is still managing the orchestra after Edward Said's death has consistently stated that music is not enough. It is only a way for both peoples to realize the humanity of the other.

Watch this very interesting video, where Frost interviews Borenhoim on Al Jazeera English. They touch on topics such as the orchestra, his vision for justice, and his thoughts on the conflict.

Some memorable excerpts from the interview:

-On the destinies of the Palestinians and Israelis:
"I believe very strongly that the destinies of the Palestinian and Israeli peoples are intrinsically linked, and there is no military solution to the problem."

-What what the orchestra can teach you:
"To play in an orchestra is a lesson for life...You have to play your part with upmost conviction and passion but you also have to have an ear to what I am playing simultaniously to you."
(NB: (Perhaps every politician should perform in an orchestra at some point in his/her life, pre-politics)

-On whether he will see a Palestinian state in his lifetime:
"If we don't see a solid Palestinian state, we will not see Israel for much longer."

-On building walls, both figuratively speaking and otherwise:
"Basic understanding is that you can't put up walls, borders to seperate the people.
People who want to do violence will do so with or without the walls."

A lesson in motherhood

2009-05-29T15:08:00.007+04:00

I am not married, and so don't have kids of my own yet (although I am acutely aware the order can, in theory, be switched). Ha, right. Moving on.

Despite the above facts, a frisky furry animal taught me a lesson or two in motherhood this past week.

We have an adorable cat, Juju, who is less than a year old. When she was only a kitten, Juju was this adorable little thing (still is), and like most newborns, needed constant attention, care and love. As she grew older,though, her personality developed into something "unique" for her species: she did not like to cuddle or be petted, was hyperactive, attacked our toes as we walked by and would crouch into attach mode at invisible things ("I see dead people", perhaps?) constantly. We presumed there was something wrong with her, and took her to a vet to learn more.

The outcome? -Well, that's her personality. "Not all cats want to cuddle and act cute," said the vet. Well then. We were definitley intrigued. While we didn't necessarily want her to be the typical house cat, we were still concerned for our toes, and for the poor cat who seems to be frightened of well, air.

We got over it eventually, and learnt to deal with Juju and her ADHD ways. But a few days ago, something strange happened. She wanted to cuddle. Whenever I was sitting on a nearby couch, she would slowly approach me and lay on my lap, and then proceed to look at me and purr.
Because of Juju's difficult personality, I became ambivalent to her in the past. But a motherly instinct quickly developed: I was concerned for her change in ways.

Something was definiteley wrong because she was not being herself. And while I secretly I enjoyed her "normal" cat behaviour, I knew it wasn't normal for Juju. We took her to the vet only to find out she had a fever, possibly from a virus and possibly from a strain in one of her limbs (she had a slight limp). Juju got an injection, which was supposed to help with her high temperature, and was due to get another one the next day.

After two days of treatment, Juju was slowly turning into her usual independent self again. She resumed her unexplainable habit of 'attacking' our toes , and shyed away from people who wanted to pet her.
And while I miss the warmth of her snow white coat of fur as she lay on my lap, the mother in me is extremely glad she is acting herself again.

(Picture: Juju, pre-sickness)

Why did I initiate the break up?

2009-05-26T16:20:00.005+04:00

I got a lot of flack when I wrote the column, PR and the Press: It's Over but let's still be friends , but I am reminded everyday just why I initiated the break up in the first place. Press releases like this CONSTANTLY litter my inbox:

The Dubai Mall set abuzz as Modhesh pays surprise visit thrilling shoppers and children

Modhesh meets children and hands out goody bags

Dubai, UAE: May 26, 2009: Modhesh, the energetic and ever-smiling mascot of Dubai Summer Surprises, came out in a grand procession at The Dubai Mall, the world’s largest shopping and entertainment destination, recently, as part of his ‘meet and greet’ initiative. His first ever visit to the mall comes during mall-wide entertainment activities that are ongoing as part of Festival@The Dubai Mall.

Crowds of excited children and families gathered around Modhesh and his crew, as he waved and greeted from atop his brightly coloured yellow and red car. Children and adults jostled to get close to Modhesh for the perfect photo as he stopped at the Star Atrium and The Waterfall at the mall’s ground floor.

Modhesh interacted with little children, waving, smiling and shaking hands with them and inviting people young and old to participate in the upcoming summer festival.

Celebrating his 10th year, Modhesh paraded in his little car as confetti, music, and light effects attracted shoppers in the mall. Modhesh was accompanied by jugglers, stilt jumpers, comic animators, mimic artists, acrobats, and dancers.

The eventful half-an-hour also saw Modhesh hand out little surprises in the form of exciting goody bags for children. Dubai Festival City will host the next Modhesh ‘meet and greet’ on May 29th and 30th.
-ends- -

And while I do want to undermine press officers who are serious about their profession, I cannot help but wonder why oh why, do I need to know that Modhesh paid a "surprise" visit to a mall and set the crowd "abuzz." I love Modhesh. I really do- even as a 20-something year old, I awe when I pass by stuffed versions of the yellow Dubai mascot at kiosks in the mall. But I am still trying to make sense of why, the cute little ray of sunshine doing his "job" merits a 200+ word press release, which only detracts from doing mine.

Which reminds me, I have a story to work on.

Adios.

Needed: Air

2009-05-25T19:41:00.006+04:00

I had to drive to Al Ain today for a job, and noticed that I was gasping for air there, much more than I do in Abu Dhabi.

While we can all agree that 50 degrees Celcius (that's 122 degrees Fareinheit for the American folks) is unbearable under any circumstances, the arid humid-free air of Al Ain somehow felt so..dry, which in turn made me much more aware of my dehydration and the scorching heat.
While I didn't sweat (erm, I mean, glisten) bucketloads like I would have, courtesy of Abu Dhabi humidity, I have a feeling someone mositure in the air is probably a "good" thing.

As I was gasping for air getting into my car, I was also gasping at the reading on my car "thermometor". See for yourself.

I was consoled when I turned on the AC, and felt the rush of heat slowly turn into cool air. I wonder what consoles the poor laborers who miraculously survive the harsh climate we have in the UAE.

Some Productive Gossip

2009-05-24T15:48:00.004+04:00

Nothing travels faster than light-apart from some good gossip. And can it get any juicier than the election of FOUR Kuwaiti female members into Parliament? It was about time, but according to Hissa al Dhaheri, gossip doesn't come without some controversy. Below is her opinion piece, published in The National newspaper on Friday, 22 May 2009.

Pssst … want some gossip about the Kuwait elections?

Hissa al Dhaheri

Gossip is an important tool (used usually by women) for keeping society in-check. “Have you seen what she did?” is a question that has often assured orderliness. Now we have: “Oh my God! Four Kuwaiti women have made it to parliament!”

In my shy attempt to understand politics and political systems, I decided to look at the Kuwait election results through the lens of relationship gossip: the only way for me to comprehend the “men’s” world is to feminise it. By understanding the power of gossip to control society and culture, we are able to comprehend the political power of gossip.

Let’s look at democracy as a relationship: a marriage that requires compromise, love and commitment. The Kuwait parliament (the first of its kind in the Gulf) has maintained this often shaky relationship since 1963, but the relationship has been dominated by The Man, who had to maintain the legitimacy of the marriage while keeping his “mistresses” (the different political blocs) in line.

After four decades the mistresses were becoming unruly; they demanded the legitimisation of their status. “Until then we’ll be treated as second class.” Gossip spreads fast, and juicy gossip spreads faster. The Man realised that he could no longer play the mistresses off against each other. He was not happy: so he thought, let me go home to my committed wife, let me bring her out in public. The Man thought: “What better way to smother women, than with other women?”

Since 2006 the Kuwait parliament has been dissolved three times by the Emir: the first because of disputes over proposed reforms that would have decreased the number of electoral districts, the second because of alleged misuse of parliamentary powers by some members, and most recently, in March, when some opposition members accused the prime minister and the cabinet of corruption and wanted to question them.

So parliament has had to endure three “divorces” that have undermined Kuwait’s democracy. In Islam you can divorce your wife only three times, so parliament had to find a new relationship to restore its reputation locally and internationally. How can someone distract attention from three divorces? And stop all the nasty gossip? It would have to be a sensible new wife (or maybe four new wives). And if it weren’t for these three divorces, would the new wives have found a better suitor?

So this parliamentary relationship has clearly followed strict Islamic rules (at least the Salafis should be happy about that). Although Kuwait has no formal political parties, the members fall into the categories of conservative, liberal, populist – and now “women”. The conservatives in parliament had been outnumbered, posing a threat to the government, so the success of the “women” will balance and neutralise the political blocs, since women pose a lesser threat to the dominance of the upper-class men than that posed by upwardly mobile men from the middle class. The women’s victory is being viewed as a victory of liberals over Islamists.

Until the new “wives” rebel and demand changes, their purpose will be merely to support the existence of The Man, emphasising his masculinity and civility: “Look, I have beautiful wives!” – as the thwarted “mistresses” look on from a distance, huffing and puffing at their inability to initiate change, and irritated by the attention the new “wives” are being given.

This attention has distorted the real picture; a perfect mirage of hope has been created, and the government is able to create a distraction about their three divorces, while the West is happy that women have finally achieved their rights. “Real” democracy might be undermined with these constant divorces, but it doesn’t matter because it looks good. I can but imagine how the news reached the West: “Helloo Amereeka, we have harems in the House!” (Maz Jobrani style).

I question what is real democracy? And is democracy a means to an end, or an end in itself?

Of course, throughout these women’s political campaigns, gossip thrived. But then, not all gossip is bad: there is positive gossip. Aseel al Awadi, one of the newly elected parliamentarians, may have benefited from the bluetooth gossip that opposition groups spread about her. Indeed, it has helped to ensure her success (all exposure is good exposure). But then, why shouldn’t women invest in men’s jealousy, their insecurities and their inferiority complexes?

Kuwait was one of the first countries to end the pre-oil seclusion of women and encourage their participation and engagement in the public sphere, to demonstrate a more liberal image. But the emancipation of upper-class women in Kuwait was not advanced solely for the women’s cause; it was advanced also to strengthen the power of upper-class men and to maintain the status quo.

It is tempting to be sceptical about emancipation projects, whether in the name of modernity, state building or – as in this case – creating a democratic distraction. Yet they bring opportunities to women and help to change the social setting, something that might not have been possible otherwise. Moreover, to be too sceptical is to assume that women cannot use these new opportunities to their own benefit.

I am not undermining the success of these women, by any means. In fact, I am overwhelmed. But I guess being cynical is the only way to keep my expectations low, to avoid disappointments. Nothing ruins a relationship like excess expectations.

Hissa al Dhaheri is a sociologist and researcher in cultural studies, and holds an MA in Gulf Studies

Arabism of the Day

2009-05-24T13:15:00.002+04:00

Does that still make them antiques?

The Shelter, Dubai is my kind of shelter.

2009-05-24T12:43:00.006+04:00

Usually, when I hear 'The Shelter', I think of, well, a shelter for abused women, or some asylum of that sort. But this place, is really something else.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, the place was 'created' (I had to use that word because it takes real entrepreneurs to turn a warehouse into what you can see in the attached pics) by the Bin Shabib brothers (founders and editors of Brownbook magazine).

They turned a warehouse on Umm Sequim road into an 'incubator' for artists and the creative minds of the city. Basically, there is a cafe, and just a really chilled out place to hang out, read, screen indie movies. It apparently serves as a meeting hub for NGOs such as Promise of a Generation, a Dubai-based NGO created by a couple of young Dubai-based women from across the globe. The members meet to discuss social issues through "respectful intercultural interaction to improve our own understanding of the world and our responsibilities in it."

POAG meets regularly, and they have a facebook group if you are interested in contributing to the conversation. That could be your excuse to visit The Shelter, as well!

UNFAIR magazine?

2009-05-21T16:13:00.005+04:00

What's in a name? I just came across an e-flyer on facebook (see above) announcing a focus group event that is being hosted by a soon-to-be-launched Abu Dhabi-based magazine called (wait for it,guys)...UNFAIR. Seriously.

Besides the curious choice for a name, the people in charge of the magazine are hosting an event this Saturday (May 23, 2009) at the Shelter in Al Qouz to better understand their target readers: Arab women.

A quick sidetrack: I've never heard of the Shelter before, but apparently it is a warehouse that now serves the artsy community of Dubai and hosts some interesting events and lectures (in what seems a truley exquisite environment). I've just browsed their website, and have just added it to my 'to go' list. The place is the brainchild of the Bin Shabib brothers- the same Dubai-ian young folks who started Brown Book magazine (another interesting production from these two brothers).

Anyway, the magazine (not Brownbook. UNFAIR) is expected to launch in September, by the new media hub Two Four 54 (owned by Abu Dhabi Media Authority), and so magazine peeps are hoping to pick your brains on what you'd like to see in this new publication.

You should attend, if you are an Arab woman or are interested in regional women's issues, and contribute to the discussion. Maybe ask them why they chose such an obscure name- one that will definitley reinforce preconceived streotypes on the state of Arab women in the region, perhaps. Unless they have a very compelling reason for such a provocative choice.

Here's a map for Shelter ( to save you from the stressful maze that is Dubai construction).

Are you an Emirati artist, writer or scientist?..

2009-05-20T17:31:00.003+04:00

...then you are eligible to win Dh 100,000 for your work as part of a National Day competition called 'Emirates Appreciation', organized by the UAE's Ministry of Culture.

Check out this story, in The National, for more information: Call for Cultural Awards Nominations.

By Haneen Dajani

Last Updated: May 20. 2009 4:39PM UAE / May 20. 2009 12:39PM GMT

The Ministry of Culture has started receiving nominations for Emirati writers, artists and researchers to win the Emirates Appreciation award for arts, sciences and literature.

A winner from each of the award’s categories – plastic arts, science, literature, field studies and research – will receive Dh100,000 from Sheikh Khalifa bin Zayed, President of the UAE, on National Day.

In its fourth session this year, the areas chosen in each category are spatial configurations, electronic engineering, “faseeh” (classical Arabic) poetry and management studies.

“The objective of the award is to stimulate the intellectual, cultural and creative people in the UAE, to highlight and honour them and motivate the younger generations to improve knowledge of science, and to promote culture and creativity, intellectuals and creators, scientists and science from the UAE,” said Bilal al Budoor, the executive director for culture and arts at the ministry.

Winners will be chosen based on the accumulation of their creative productions and interaction with society, and not on the value of a single piece.

“So for example, if there are two poets nominated, one has been a poet for 20 years but his work is not (rich) poetry and suddenly came up with one great poem, and another poet has been writing (rich) poetry for the past 10 years, the priority to win goes to the person with the cumulative experience and who contributed to society with valuable work.”

Mr al Budoor recalled an incident from previous years when two doctors received an equal grade from judges, but one of them had more publications and interacted with the society more than the other, thus, the one with the greater influence on society won.

Applicants can either nominate themselves or they can be nominated by their organisations. The ministry also sends letters to other ministries and organisations asking them to nominate employees who fit the categories.

“In the first year, a very few number responded to our letters, but after they saw the honour and moral value of the award during the first ceremony, there was a major increase in numbers of nominations the following years,” he said.

Winners could apply again to the awards in following years, providing they apply to a different category to the one they won. So, if a person is both an artist and a writer, and won for his art the first year, he could apply as writer the following year.

The panel of judges consists of the Minister of Culture, Youth and Community Development Abdul Rahman Mohammed al Owais, Mr Budoor and the remaining five other judges change every year.

“The judges are themselves writers and artists who have a thorough background and valuable work in art and culture, so we change them every year to give them a chance to apply to the awards in following years,” he explained.

This year's judges are Ibrahim al Thaheri, Jumaa al Kubaissi, Dr Najat Makki, Ismail Ismail and Ali al Hamli.

hdajani@thenational.ae

When boys want to be boys, and girls...

2009-05-20T15:32:00.003+04:00

When boys want to be boys and girls want to be … er, boys

By Tala Al Ramahi

Much has been written on “the other”, whether it is literary texts on orientalism, imperialism and such, yet there seems to be a peculiar species living among us that we still barely understand: the other … sex.

Abdul Salam Darwish, head of Family Reconciliation at Dubai Courts, recalls a social experiment conducted recently on fifth graders at a school in Jordan. The pupils were told: imagine you woke up tomorrow and you had been magically transformed into the opposite sex. The results were unintentionally humorous, and telling to say the least. The 10-year-old boys who imagined they had woken up as girls provided responses such as: “I would kill myself”, “I would go to the hospital and ask them to switch me back” and “I would never leave the house”. The girls’ reponses to their hypothetical sex change were more positive: “I would be the happiest person in the world”, and “I would have a big party and invite all the other boys”.

Despite advances in the cause of women in the region, it seems that being a boy – even a “boy” – is still preferable to being a girl. Differences in lifestyles are so pronounced, it seems, that even fifth graders are subconsciously aware of them.

And while it may be unscientific to extrapolate these findings to the entire region, it seems likely that the results would have been similar if the study had been conducted here. Nevertheless, the same social experiment should be conducted here in the UAE, to better understand our own young people, their outlook on gender relations and their understanding of “the other”. It would also be useful to expand the experiment to older students in high schools and universities to see if the outlook on “the other” changes.

The results of such studies may draw a clearer picture of whether the tremendous strides taken by Emirati women in the workplace are matched by similar advances at home and in their social lives.

The rising divorce rate is a cause for national concern, and steps are being taken by the Ministry of Social Affairs and others to address it. More than half the couples in Dubai who file for divorce do so because they do not understand how to treat their partners, Mr Darwish says. Most do not understand that the needs, wants and behaviours of “the other” are different from their own, a phenomenon he calls “familial illiteracy”.

Mr Darwish’s suggestion for tackling such “illiteracy” is a mandatory nationwide curriculum in universities that would enlighten young adults on the differing needs of each sex, and introduce them to other keys to matrimonal bliss, including how to treat and converse with each other productively.

I believe such a curriculum should be introduced even earlier: in high school, perhaps. The average age of marriage in the UAE is lower than in the West, which means many young men and women will marry or contemplate entering the “golden cage” before they even set foot on a college campus. Many never get as far as university in the first place, so early awareness is key if we hope to tackle this issue.

And there is something else we must consider. How can we become attuned to each others’ needs and understand the opposite sex when we barely interact with them (aside from direct family members) until later in life – at work, or even for the first time after marriage. Perhaps it would be best to foster a healthier view of “the other” by increasing interaction, at least at younger ages, through co-educational classes up to a certain grade.

A study compiled in 2006 by the Strategic Council, a Canadian research firm, found that students at co-ed schools are more confident in expressing their views in the presence of the opposite sex. The study of more than 17,000 students also concluded that they respected members of the opposite sex more because boys learn to interact with and gain respect for their female classmates.

So demystifying the other sex is not a regionally specific puzzle. Even in western cultures, where female-male interaction is substantial, men find it difficult to understand women, and vice versa. That explains the range of “products” on the subject, from the book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus to the 2000 Mel Gibson movie What Women Want.

Sociological and psychological-focused research on this is vital: and here’s hoping that in the future “I will kill myself” is not the response of a 10-year-old boy when he contemplates life as a girl.

talramahi@thenational.ae

Why would you want to buy this? Really...

2009-05-19T17:19:00.004+04:00

If you're a fan of The Dark Knight, and creeping the bejesus out of yourself, you can buy this life size statue of the Joker at Virgin Megastore in Abu Dhabi, for a not-so-recession friendly price of Dh 8,000.

'Why so serious', folks?

Manufacturing Hope: The new Dubai Dream

2009-05-19T16:42:00.003+04:00

By Tala Al Ramahi

In 1931, James Adam coined the term The American Dream to describe the quest thousands of men and women started upon reaching American soil: to develop themselves to their fullest potential, without the barriers erected in older civilizations. While the American Dream was not purely about gaining monetary riches, it was certainly was an undebiable constituent of the pursuit.

The Dubai Dream may share something with the American version: it certainly brought thousands to our shores to write their own ‘rags to riches’ biography, or a moderate riches to incredible wealth one.

Unfortunately, the dreams of many who did arrive to Dubai lacked the “soul” of advancing anyone else but themselves. Concern for the advancement of their direct community, let alone the larger nation, was not part of their pursuit. That may be one of the critical problems of Dubai’s so-called fall from grace.

But as the “dark side of Dubai” stories litter our news feeds, those “check in, check out” reporters who visited the Emirate for their best shot at unraveling “the dark side” missed something integral to the advancement of this Emirate: hope, and the propensity for change.
While ‘hope’ for a better future may have been more implicit in Dubai’s Dream in the past, it will now be, or at least should be, one of its biggest driving forces for self improvement, recovery, and a new sucess story for the Middle East.

Dominique Moisi, a senior adviser for the Institute of International Affairs and author of a newly published book: The Geopolitics of Emotion, argues that such hope is one of the key drivers of incredible development witnessed in India and China. A culture of hope in social and economic empowerment he writes, also drove similar growth in the West in the past.
In contrast, a culture of constant humiliation, especially one lacking any hope, is a key driver of extremism, especially one we have witnessed in the region.

If anything, some of the recent attacks on Dubai through the Western press share something very similar to some of the men and women who arrived here: they wanted nothing more than a shot at fame and fortune; it was all about self interest. I am not arguing against hiding our ills underneath the table.

On the contrary, we must address the very real problems that plague our economy and social sphere. However, using sensationalist and sometimes, humiliating narrative to unravel such ills is just as fruitless as turning a blind eye to them.

Humiliation without hope, Moisi writes in his book, “encapsulates a sense of dispossession toward the present, and even more so toward the future.” However, “good humiliation”, one that is coupled with hope for better circumstances and a promising political and economic future acts as a rally and a driver for more competition.

The Dubai Dream may not be perfect, and it will certainly evolve to encapsulate more substantial components than just monetary riches, but without its essential element of hope, we cannot continue to become the beacon of hope for our neighboring region. In fact, even in the U.S., the 'American Dream' was not about the 'life, liberty and happiness, as much as it was about the never ending pursuit of it. The ability to pursue such hope and what comes as a consequence of hard work is something Dubai has done fairly well in comparison to other similar nations.

There are already many regions in close proximity to ours who constituents cannot afford to even hope anymore because of the dire economic and political circumstances, the constant humiliation from local and alien forces, and the lack of confidence in national leadership.
On the other hand, the global economic downturn, and the subsequent reports on Dubai’s lost dream actually has a brighter narrative. Those who were interested in advancing the nation (in addition to themselves, of course) are probably the ones who stayed put in spite of shaky times. The others who were in search for a “dream of material plenty” probably packed their bags in search for the next opportunity.

Dubai is not without its ills. Stories of construction workers in the sweltering unforgiving Gulf heat to abused domestic helpers are very much real. But so is the Emirate’s propensity to change and do something about it.

The Dubai Dream is not about superlatives, glittering skylines and stories of incredible (sometimes unbelievable) wealth anymore. It is about hope. It is about rising above the ills, downturns and economic mishaps with a sense of humility and grace. But most importantly, with a sense of hope for constructive change. We cannot afford to have another city in this region embittered, underdeveloped, and losing the one emotion that allows us to look forward to something better.

To: All the Superwomen out there

2009-03-04T17:18:00.003+04:00

Career or family: a choice no woman should have to make
The National | Feb 25, 2009

By Tala Al Ramahi

For all the mothers fighting
For better days to come
And all my women, all my women sitting here trying
To come home before the sun
– Alicia Keys, Superwoman

Not long ago I received an e-mail update from a good friend with whom I went to Stanford University in the United States. Along with other updates on her life, the thing that stood out the most was a fill-in on her social life at a prestigious Ivy League business school. Her friends were wonderful, she said, but “they are all single and pretty different from me. The girls don’t want to get married, they are hardcore and intense kick-ass women who want to be the next Forbes Top 100 Women,” she lamented.

@body arnhem:Those words are from the same woman who graduated with distinction from the most competitive major at Stanford, chaired one of the biggest philanthropic events at our alma mater and once said to me that she saw herself eventually becoming chief executive of a renowned blue-chip company in Silicon Valley.

Her dilemma was finding likeminded women who believed they did not have to make the choice between family and the Forbes list. For her, “part-time mother, part-time professional” wasn’t the title she wanted for the rest of her life. Neither was it mine, really. Even though her concerns came from miles away, they resonated strongly with me, as I am sure they would with a lot of women of our generation, whether it be here in the UAE or there in the USA.

While I do not intend to diminish the contribution made by working women of previous generations, the marketplace has changed tremendously since then. The working environment is not what it used to be: for starters it has become more competitive, and with globalisation and the integration of our markets, a 7-to-3 job is hard to come by, especially if you decide to venture beyond the government sector.

We must also exert more in the workplace if we hope to prove ourselves and get promoted. This means that working extra hours becomes a necessity rather than a career propeller, and the stress of it all inevitably seeps from the office and into our homes. How, with all that, can we do it all and still maintain some sanity, I wonder? Although I am yet to become one, I am sure being a full-time mother is a full-time job in itself, and so I can only imagine what kind of hardships come with balancing a career and building a family.

And so I begin to wonder sometimes why our culture, one that considers family cohesion an integral building block of a functioning society, does not have the necessary stepping stones that can make Emirati and UAE-based women juggle it all.

While it is encouraging that female emancipation has been prominent in our national agenda for quite some time, we must also consider all the challenges that need to be addressed as a result. One such consideration is the lack of part-time jobs. In January, the Dubai Executive Council took the initiative by providing that option in all the emirate’s government bodies. The private sector in the country must make headway as well if they hope to capitalise on the female labour force.

A social environment conducive to retaining married women and mothers must also be fostered in the workplace. Maternity leave and benefits are still deficient, when compared with the world’s largest and most efficient economies. In-office nurseries are hard to come by as well. So if we want our (to steal my friend’s word) “hardcore” women to earn their place in top management, let us make sure they do not have to think they have to make the choice between family and that Forbes magazine list.

Superman may have saved the world from a lot of destruction, but Superwoman needs to raise (and save) her family, excel at her job, and still manage to make it home in time to tuck the kids into bed with a smile on her face.

That, no doubt, will take more than just muscles and a cape.

Unemployed Porsche Owner

2009-02-01T20:13:00.003+04:00

Photo: courtesy of Mason News Service

One blogger called it the "signs of the time" for Dubai. As thousands of expatriate workers are being laid off from their jobs because the financial turmoil has hit our shores (it was inevitable, right?), one man is "profiting" from an other-wise disgraceful (or at least, dreaded) situation.

Publicity Ploy Brings Unexpected Reponse | The National | Jan, 30, 2009.
By Tala Al Ramahi

It must have seemed like a good idea at the time.

Laid off from his Dh395,000 (US107,000)-a-year job after 18 months as a construction project manager in Dubai, Andrew Blair decided to advertise his newly available services in headline-grabbing fashion.

The moment he heard the bad news, the 28-year-old Briton jumped into his Porsche and drove straight to the Mall of the Emirates. Buying a black marker pen, he sat down in his suit in the car park and scrawled his name, telephone number and the following message across the elegant rear end of the white Boxster S: “Made redundant today. Construction project manager.”

“Lots of people just stood around and watched me sitting on the floor with my suit as I was doing it,” Mr Blair said yesterday. “But I didn’t care.”

That was when the power of the internet and the global media kicked in.

The story seems to have surfaced first on Jan 18, on Life in Dubai, a blog run by “Seabee”, an Australian expatriate living in the city. Seabee posted a photograph of the car under the headline “Sign of the times in Dubai”.

The story was picked up in the local press and on Jan 21 made headline news in The Daily Telegraph in the UK. “The scene,” reported the paper, “is a modern echo of the 1920s Great Depression, where jobless city traders walked the streets wearing billboards and placed signs looking for work on their cars.”

Two days later Mr Blair’s fame had spread back to Bristol, the hometown in Britain he had left 18 months before to seek his fortune in the UAE. Mr Blair, reported the Bristol Evening Post on Jan 23, had “hatched a cunning plan to find more work in the tax-free haven”.

Within a week, the cunning plan had gone global, with coverage on the BBC and CNN, which featured Mr Blair’s impromptu act of graffiti in a story headlined “Hard Times in UAE”. Top down, shades on and with a television cameraman riding shotgun, Mr Blair cruised the streets of Dubai, “where a young man can dream of riches, drive fast cars – and lose it all”.

By this week, the story had travelled full circle. Back on the Life in Dubai blog, Seabee reported that, “The interest in the story is amazing” and that it had seized the imagination of the web.

Dubizzle, the Dubai-based trading website, had set up a link to the blog “and I’ve never had as many visitors from Dubizzle as I’m getting for this. Hundreds a day.”

Internet queries that have brought people to the site have come in from around the world, including one Google search from Skopje, Macedonia, but now there are signs the interest is becoming something other than mere curiosity. One large newspaper group in the UK had searched with the words “Dubai police Andrew Blair”.

And that’s not all: the blogosphere is biting back. One sharp-eyed reader of Life in Dubai wondered “why the mobile number on the car is changing from publication to publication”; the number on the original photograph and the one published in The Daily Telegraph were different.

Worse, another blogger visited the website of Dubai Police and typed the registration number of Mr Blair’s Porsche into the traffic fines inquiry page.

As of yesterday, that registration number had accumulated 12 black points and 37 unpaid fines, totalling Dh3,850, and Mr Blair’s highly mobile advertising platform was wanted for impounding.

The offences credited to the Porsche range from illegal parking and obstructing traffic to jumping a red light and speeding – including one fine of Dh1,000, incurred on Jan 16, for exceeding the speed limit on Um Suqeem Street, off Sheikh Zayed Road, by “more than 60kph”.

He will pay the fines, he says, when he re-registers the car.

All this, and he has still not got a job, although he says he has had a few companies asking for his CV – and “lots of calls from so many random people”, including one woman who spotted the Scots flag on his car and called “to ask how I can say ‘I love you’ in Scottish”.

He estimates that cleaning up the back of the Porsche will set him back Dh3,500 – although he says he might try to cash in on the publicity by selling the rear end of the Boxster on ebay.

“The people who have written negative stuff about me and have been giving me grief about what I did are just trying to set me up,” he said.

“I think it’s quite funny, actually. These people should spend more time on their own life than worry so much about mine. But you know, it’s hard being famous, but someone’s got to do it.”

Does he regret the job-seeking stunt?

“I don’t regret it at all. Life is not about regrets. I have none. Zero.”

We really do, have short term memories.

2009-02-01T16:31:00.004+04:00

I wrote the post below a day after the "protest for Palestine" that happened on Abu Dhabi's corniche (Jan 10, 20). My prediction wasn't too far off.

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Yesterday’s government-approved protest made me feel uneasy. I attended because I was curious about how people would react there. The last time I participated in such a protest, was during the Second Intifada; I was only fifteen, I believe, and more of a revolutionary that I could ever possibly be anymore.
Al Jazeera Channel called Friday (the day of the protest), a “day of Pan-Arab anger”- in reference to similar protests that were organized across the Arab world. To be honest, I hate the reference. Yes, the images we see on our television screens make us angry. But really, most of us feel sadness, not anger. Sadness that most of the victims of such a conflict are civilians- a large number are women and children. We also feel helpless. Because our leaders do little, and the only way we can ever “support” the cause is by flooding the streets in a government-approved protest. Maybe that is why we become angry.
Nevertheless, I presume Al Jazeera knew what it was talking about it when it referred to Friday the 9th of Jan, 2009 as a day of anger.
Because most of the protesters were, indeed, angry. Most, I know, are angry with their Arab leaders, for complicity. Others are angry because they haven’t dealt well with their own grief. I understand their anger, but I don’t think it serves the Palestinian cause much.
I would have rather called it a day of solidarity, or even, a day of mourning. Because there is so much to mourn for today. And yesterday. And for the past XX days, in fact.
We can mourn for the lives lost in this impasse. It is a pity that we don’t even know their names because we are too busy counting their bodies.
Despite the outcry and the anger I witnessed, I give the Arab street a few weeks, and soon these protesters will resume with their less than ordinary lives as though the situation in Gaza was an excuse for them to create a little organized chaos on the streets- something we can’t do very often had their not been such a significant event.
You see, we, in the Arab world, have short term memories. We also overreact in the heat of the moment, and then stay silent for another few years…until we witness another atrocious attack and another unnecessary war… and ever more silent leaders.
It is a pity that we never funnel that anger into something more productive. Something that would make a difference even after this war is over. Because gazans (and the Palestinians as a whole), have been fighting a 60 year old war to live in dignity. Now that, is something we can all be “angry” about.

Reading a Book? NO WAY

2009-02-01T16:13:00.005+04:00

It is so rare to find a young (goodlooking - although that has nothing to do with the subject of this post) man reading a book (in public, at least)- that I had to do a double take when I spotted a late 20's/early 30's man seriously engaged in one (a real one. Not a magazine or a fluffy book) at Marina Mall today.

To be completely honest, my reading habit has deteriorated (though not completely) since I returned to the UAE. I am not sure why that is. I like to blame it on my chaotic busy lifestyle, but I had just a busy a schedule when I was a student at Stanford University. Nevertheless, I always made time to read, or at least skim, a book very often when I was a student.

What is it about this country that makes us so disconnected from anything that resembles a reading culture? Is it the lack of public libraries? Or the plethora of coffee shops that we use for nothing more than socializing. It is so rare to find someone in the city's MANY coffee shops just reading away. I used to do it when I first moved back here after graduation, and was actually teased by many of my friends for being a loner.

But really, there is nothing more relaxing than getting lost in a good book. And nothing more fulfilling than knowing you've learnt something new today.

This post actually reminds me of an interesting conversation I had with a local professor on just that: the lack of a reading culture. He somewhat disagreed with my hunch that the locals do not appreciate great literature. He pointed out that Muslims' awe of the Quran, and their respect for it, is not just because it is their God-given book, but because it is an astounding example of beautiful literature.

He went on to explain that the lack of public transportation and long commutes makes it even harder for residents to pick up a book to read. Which makes sense, I guess, since a long train or bus ride is the perfect opportunity to engage in a productive hobby, like reading. But then again, I know many a person who has replaced the book with an ipod; instead of investing in time to read a book, they "pass time" by watching an episode (or two) of a popular show they have downloaded from the internet (and uploaded to their ipod).

That said, I will leave you guys to ponder whether your own reading habit have also fallen victim to our so-called chaotic lives in the UAE. Are our lives THAT much busier than those who live in the U.S. or European countries?

I believe my conversation with Associate Professor Chris Brown, led him to write a Comment piece on the issue in The National. Check it out.

Male Feminists

2009-01-15T16:29:00.003+04:00

Although I've repeatedly expressed my discontent with using the word feminist as a universal word for female empowerment movements, I nevertheless want to say that a lot of traditional feminists may be unhappy with this column.

But close observation of the current social situation here in the UAE really does seem to be an anomaly when it comes to female empowerment issues in the Arab world. Of course, this doesn't mean we do not have our fair share of male chauvinists who are unhappy with the current progress of these brilliant Emirati women.
I would like to salute the men who have acknowledged the importance of taking on women as partners in the workplace, political arena, and at home.

Every Great Arab Woman Has a Great Man Somewhere | The National | January 15, 2009

By Tala Al Ramahi

We’ve all heard the proverb: ”Behind every great man is a woman.” Many a female has smiled contentedly at such a profound acknowledgement of her contributions (despite the suggestion that she operates only out of sight of the world). While we, in the UAE, can name our female ambassadors and ministers, our first female judge and other prominent women, we still do not know enough of what they share in common that enabled them to achieve such inspirational success.

This is due, in part, because Emirati women – along with their counterparts in other Arab countries – have risen to prominence and gained significant leadership roles in the political and business arenas in such a relatively short period of time. And while there is a considerable amount of research that could be done on these women, their own declarations and close scrutiny of their life (when possible) can provide us with some insight.

In an interview published in The National in December, Dr Hissa Al Otaiba, the UAE’s newly appointed ambassador to Spain, explained that her decision to take on her new role, which would lead to regular separations from her husband (he just been appointed ambassador to Italy) was influenced by the support she received from her family. “My husband was very encouraging, too. He didn’t want to say it because he wanted me to take the decision, but I felt it,” Dr Otaiba said. She also said that she drew inspiration from her late father, Abdulla Ahmed al Otaiba, who served as vice president of the National Consultative Council.

Earlier this week, Sheikha Manal bint Mohammed Al Maktoum, the president of the Dubai Women Establishment, presented the keynote speech on the first day of the Arab Women Leadership Forum to a keen audience of young Emirati women, while her father, Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid, the Vice-President of the UAE and Ruler of Dubai, sat comfortably to one side as she took the spotlight in front of female dignitaries and renowned scholars.

The Emirati woman’s rapid journey to empowerment is something of an anomaly in this region. For a start, it is our male leaders who are promoting female emancipation to allow women to become partners of progress in the country. That said, culture does not change overnight, and social customs still hold back many a woman from full participation in many fields, even though such measures have the backing from the highest authorities.

Despite the numerous success stories, the UAE is a culture that is still fairly conservative; many Emirati women have difficulty travelling abroad for their education even if they gain admission to the most reputable institutions, while some are stopped (culturally, not legally) from taking jobs in “controversial” professions, particularly those that are male-dominated (civil engineering, for instance), or where the woman is too publicly prominent, such as television reporting.

Such decisions are usually made (or at least, vetoed) by the woman’s father, or husband if she is married. The men risk social criticism, at times, if they decide to allow their daughters and wives to undertake pioneering, albeit unconventional, courses of action. It is, however, infinitely more acceptable in this country for a woman to transform social norms with the backing of the male-figures in her life, instead of rebelling and challenging their authority.

A recent investigative field study of women leaders in neighbouring Oman set out to discover the common features in the lives of such prominent women. It was found that almost all of them had influential mentors and an extremely supportive parent – in the majority of cases it was her father. It takes, after all, a self-assured man to be comfortable, even proud, of his wife or daughter’s success.

A mural by the Emirati artist, Hind bin Demaithan, entitled “Competition or Completion” features an Emirati man and woman, each pulling on opposite sides of the scales of justice. But I believe it is fruitless to regard the rise and success of women as a “battle of the sexes”. Thankfully, for the most part in this country we do not have to view the situation in those kind of terms. After all, a successful woman not only helps boost the prosperity of her family, she also contributes to the development goals of the nation. It seems (for now at least) that “behind every successful Arab woman, is an extremely supportive man” – and one who is confident enough to know that the success of his wife (or daughter) is a blessing, not a threat.

Oops...

2009-01-15T16:24:00.004+04:00

Unlike Elton John, sorry seems to be easiest word for Israel.
This time, they are apologizing for bombing the UNRWA headquarters in Gaza- a building that housed about 700 Palestinians from...the current bombings.

The string of events happens like this for Israel:

1-Bomb shelter/people/UN headquarters
2-Israel: "We're sorry" or "Terrorist group X was using these people as human shields."
3- The world: "alright, we forgive you. Just don't repeat it again."
4- Israel: "Alright, moving on. Next target."

Xenophobia is not so cool...

2009-01-12T17:07:00.003+04:00

Tolerance is Also An Integral Part of Our National Identity | December 03, 2008 | The National

By Tala Al Ramahi

Xenophobia is an ugly thing for society to live with. And stereotyping any race or ethnic group is almost always the precursor to racial intolerance. As an Arab studying in America in a post-September 11 world, I was apprehensive that I would have to pay for the outrages that the Islamist extremists had perpetrated.

I would be lying if I said I faced prejudice or intolerance – most probably because my features did not match up with the images of Arabs in the American subconscious. The racial classifications I was subjected to were mostly harmless. To the US airport security official, I looked Eastern European (it was always comical to observe their changing facial expressions when they asked for my passport).

To our local café’s barista, I looked conspicuously Mexican – so much so that I had to mutter “No habla Espanol” in butchered Spanish for her to believe me. (Nevertheless, it took her almost a month to get over the fact that my big hair and wide set dark eyes had nothing to do with any secret Mexican ancestry.)

To my then just-made college friend, I was an oil princess. Our friendship went on to become very close and she now knows me better – although she is still a little disappointed that she will not be visiting my mansion on The Palm any time soon.

However, despite my own experience, I have known many an Arab who has been a victim of racial intolerance in the United States because their looks “gave them away”. Hindus and Sikhs have also been consistently mistaken for Muslims, and found themselves the victims of hate crimes because of their clothes and beards – as if that somehow defined a “Muslim” to the outside world.

Now that I am back home in the United Arab Emirates, I have become even more aware that our own society is not impervious to such typecasting either. For many of us, a Filipina now means “domestic servant”, while South Asian implies “labourer” or “taxi driver”.

To many Western expatriates, Emiratis are undeservingly rich and lazy, while some of us UAE nationals view the British expatriates as inconsiderate for their unwillingness to integrate into our society, learn our language, and respect our customs. The expression “when in Rome, do as the Romans do” seemingly does not apply to anywhere outside Europe.

Such stereotyping appalled me when I first returned. It was difficult to conceive that ideals of racial equality or – at the least – tolerance were eroding over here as well. The unsettling thing is how quickly one can become desensitised by the attitudes that surround us, so that not only do they not seem to be wrong any more, but one finds oneself slipping into them, too.

“It’s something you learn to live with. You don’t view it as racism when you understand the country’s dynamics.” That is how an acquaintance once explained the situation to a visiting American. It is when we find ourselves justifying such lamentable attitudes that we really need to look at ourselves and admit where we are going wrong.

The country’s 37th National Day yesterday marked the pinnacle of 2008: the year of National Identity. And as I saw Emiratis, Palestinians and, yes, Indians waving their UAE flags from their cars and on the city’s streets, it struck me that this country, the beacon of the Gulf and the calm haven among so many turbulent storms, would not be what it is today without them. All of them.

We need labourers to build our skyscrapers, and garbage cleaners to keep our streets clean, just as much as we need Western consultants to advise us on those issues where we still have modest experience. Which is exactly why tolerance should be an integral part of our national identity.

We are all so intricately dependent on each other in this country. And while the demographic imbalance has been a cause of concern for many of us Emiratis, who sometimes feel as if we are visitors within our own borders, we must also realise that it is only as a result of such peculiar demographics that we can afford the luxuries and the lifestyles we now take for granted.

We are also indebted to our Emirati forefathers, who had to battle the harsh desert environment to lay the foundations of our young country. Our founding father, Sheikh Zayed bin Sultan, established the vision we follow today through his unwavering beliefs in tolerance and generosity.

Today’s generation of young Emiratis need to remind ourselves of those beliefs as we follow the noble path that he set. We can do that best by respecting each other, tolerating our differences – and even learning from them.

These greetings are one day late, but to all Emiratis, I wish you a belated happy 37th National Day. And to everyone else within our country’s borders, thank you for helping us make our country what it is today.

The Greatest Story Rarely Told in America

2009-01-12T16:40:00.004+04:00

...which may also be the most tragic story that is rarely told in America.

The Greatest Story Rarely Told in America | December 31, 2008 | The National

By Tala Al Ramahi

The last time Israel decided to launch a merciless and aggressive assault on a neighbour – Lebanon – I was completing my final year at Stanford University. It was the first time I had followed such an Israel-related violent outbreak from overseas, but the physical distance from the war did not diminish my obsession with following it as keenly as if I were closer. If anything, the distance only magnified my obsession.

However, as the death toll mounted during that 2006 war, and Israel partook in its own “shock and awe” campaign, I was more shocked and awed by the American news coverage. Watching the 34-day war from afar was like experiencing modern events from a distant universe.

As the Israeli Defence Force launched their indiscriminate bombing campaign, which resulted in the death of more than 1,100 Lebanese – most of whom who were civilians, and a third women and children – I could not have grasped the enormity of the humanitarian catastrophe by relying on US-based sources. I was, however, repeatedly told that Israel, “the only true democracy in the Middle East”, is “defending itself”, “retaliating”, and “responding” to rockets from “terrorists” and “Arab dictatorships” that desperately “wanted to destroy” the Jewish state. Had I not known better, I might have believed them, as do many (if not the vast majority) of Americans.

The issue is even more acute when it comes to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Criticism of Israel in the American media, is (as Edward Said called it) “America’s last taboo”. Those who dare criticise Israel’s actions and its moral integrity know that they must deal with the repercussions (and I have had to deal with quite a few while abroad), including right-wing Zionist bullies, hateful racist slurs, and being labelled an “anti-Semite”. The actions taken against academics who openly defend the Palestinian cause are even more pronounced.

And while many American Jews nurture a form of Zionism more fanatical than that held by Israeli Jews, I noticed that the vast majority of non-Jewish Americans were actually either apathetic when it came to this particular issue, or worryingly misinformed.

The extent of such ignorance hit me when I was explaining to my roommate, an American, about my ancestral background. “So why are Palestinians blowing themselves up?” she asked. My knee-jerk reaction was to end the conversation instantly, but her curiosity seemed genuine and not deliberately aimed at aggravating me. I later found out, through endless discussions, that her only window into the conflict began (and ended) with her History class on the Holocaust, and the Jewish population’s desperate need to find “a land without a people for a people without a land”. The historical narrative about an indigenous Palestinian population was absent from her version of history.

She was unaware (as are many Americans) of the Israeli occupation. Nor did she know about the illegal usurping of territory and destruction of Palestinian homes by Israel, let alone the existence of a matrix of checkpoints in the Palestinian territories that make day-to-day movement and life for ordinary Palestinians unbearable.

It is easy to point fingers at American media outlets who have converted neutral Americans into supporters of Israel because of constant biased reporting. Linguistic changes to the narrative of the story, such as using the word “neighbourhood” to replace “Israeli settlements” further exacerbate the situation by allowing such media outlets to distort the truth of what has been called the “hidden occupation”.

Professor Robert Jensen, a journalism professor at the University of Texas, explained in the documentary, Peace, Propaganda and the Promised Land, that “Israel is fighting a war on two fronts. The first is a military campaign in the territories against the Palestinian people, and the second is a PR campaign being waged in the US through American media”.

We Arabs must learn the lessons of that and provide an alternative narrative that is both productive and newsworthy. But we should also examine our own media. Many Arab-based media outlets host commentators – on TV and in print – who, in response to the current circumstances, issue angry, hate-filled diatribes. And while the situation certainly merits anger and grief, if we are to win hearts and minds on the international arena we must publicise and humanise the Palestinian plight. Too often, the Palestinian cause is undermined by angry rhetoric that only relieves some of our own outrage.

We in this part of the world, already know the reality. We do not need to preach to the choir. After all, we have seen the devastating images on our television screens, heard the cries of Palestinian widows, and the Gazan fathers who have lost their children to Israel’s indiscriminate collective punishment campaign.

But if we hope to spread our message beyond the Middle East, we need the cool voice of reason; intellectual activists who can channel their grief into productive rhetoric. We need politicians and academics who will use indisputable facts to narrate the greatest story rarely told in America.

There are more than 65 UN Resolutions that target Israel, and NGOs such as Amnesty International and Human Rights Watch have raised more awareness for our plight, than we Arabs have done. We must learn that it is not how loud we scream, but how reasonably we express ourselves that will make our voices powerful.

Dude, where's my Rent..Err, House?

2008-12-29T17:26:00.004+04:00

The Chamber of Commerce and Industry in Abu Dhabi founded the Rent Dispute Committee almost two years ago, in an effort to resolve many unsettled disputes between greedy landowners and tenants who have been scammed or evicted illegally.

Real Estate is not really my beat at the paper, but I was called to sit on and report on a seminar aimed at raising awareness about Abu Dhabi's Rent Law No.20. The seminar was held in Arabic (which is understandable), and live English translation was available to non-Arabic speakers. However, I have my doubts about how serious the Committee is about spreading its message. Many of those who are scammed by greedy landowners and real estate agents are middle to low income earners in the city, particularly Philipino and Indian and Pakistani expats who cannot afford alternatives to run-down housing. They are also the forgotten majority in this city, who have no idea who to turn to when their rights are violated. Most of them are not even aware of such a Committe, and those who are are cautious about resorting to it because they are worried they won't be taken seriously or that the process would take too long.

Today, as I walked into the office, I was called on by a softspoken man with a clipping of my story.

Usually, I would be afraid of a stranger calling out my name in the newspaper's office. His case was different. "I need your help, ma'am", he pleaded. His eyes were filled with helplessness- akin to that of a child who is in desperate need of a provider. I sat and listened to his heart wrenching story; how his family is being bullied by the landowner's sons (or younger family members) in efforts to evict him and his wife and two children from their 2 bedroom penthouse.

"Please try to help me. What kind of father would I be if we are left on the street with my two daughters."

As I did some serious digging today, I came across many people (not-so-surprisingly, most are underpaid expatriates from South Asian countries) with similar stories. I wonder who will really listen to them. I'm on it Jo, I promise.

But my Gut Says...

2008-12-25T17:10:00.003+04:00

Is there any scientific support that validates the 'gut feeling'- You know, that uneasy feeling you get when you know something is just not right. I've googled around, and somehow cannot find anything that supports the gut feeling theory. Which is weird, since whenever I did NOT listen to my gut , I was proven otherwise. Most of the time, the decisions had to do with relationships (not life-changing decisions), although some relationship-decisions eventually become life changing ones.
Is that uneasiness we get completely void of conscious thought, and reasonable decision making? I'm going to do more digging, but while you wait, read this funny comment piece on 'truthliness'.
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Gut instinct isn't science

If it were, the world really would be flat, wouldn't it?

By David P. Barash
DAVID P. BARASH, an evolutionary biologist, is professor of psychology at the University of Washington.

July 5, 2007

HERE'S A PARADOX: Science is our best way of deciphering the complexities of the natural world. It is useful, consistent and, despite the claims of fundamentalists — religious or postmodern — true. Yet the insights of science are often counterintuitive, frequently lacking what Stephen Colbert called "truthiness."

When Colbert coined that term, during the inaugural episode of his satirical show, "The Colbert Report," he applied it to things that people in general (and George W. Bush in particular) know to be true "from the gut," as opposed to from the head. Truthiness trumps dry logic, dull evidence and mere facts. It disdains or simply bypasses laborious intellectual examination in favor of what feels right. The word has taken on a life of its own, and Colbert stuck it scathingly to Bush's political decisions, including the rationale for invading Iraq and his claim to have looked into Vladimir Putin's eyes and seen "his soul."

But such gut thinking poses another set of dangers to science. All too often, it bumps into scientific truth, and when it does, it tends to win — at least in the short term. Ironically, much of the time, scientific findings don't seem immediately logical; if they were, we probably wouldn't need its laborious "method" of theory building and empirical hypothesis testing for confirmation. We'd simply know.

After all, the sun moves through our sky, but it is the Earth that is going around the sun. Our planet is round, even though it sure feels flat under our feet as we walk. The microbial theory of disease only prevailed because Louis Pasteur, Robert Koch and other scientists finally marshaled enough irrefutable evidence to overwhelm the alternative perspective: that things too small to be seen with the naked eye couldn't possibly exist or have any effect on us.

This conflict was foreshadowed by Francis Bacon in his 1620 treatise, "Novum Organum," the founding document of the scientific method. Bacon warned: "The human understanding resembles not a dry light, but admits a tincture of the will and passions, which generate their own system accordingly: for man always believes more readily that which he prefers…. In short, his feelings imbue and corrupt his understanding in innumerable and sometimes imperceptible ways."

Nor is the battle over. Indeed, there is a constant tension between science and its truthy alternatives, from "quantum weirdness" to the irrefutable (but readily resisted) reality that a brick wall consists of far more empty space than solid matter. Evolution by natural selection, for example, is as close to truth as biological science is likely to get, and yet (even notwithstanding its conflict with biblical literalists) the notion that lineages change very slowly over vast amounts of time is less common-sensical than the observation that living things remain pretty much the same from one generation to the next.

Similarly, each of us is so small and the world so big that it simply isn't truthy that we are literally using up certain resources, driving species extinct, polluting even the seemingly infinite oceans and modifying the climate.

The good news is that over time, actual truth wins out. Only scientifically illiterate troglodytes deny the microbial theory of disease, or the reality of atoms, or of evolution. Still, scientists face a constant struggle, a kind of Red Queen dilemma. Recall the scene in Lewis Carroll's "Through the Looking Glass," in which Alice and the Queen run vigorously but get nowhere. The Queen explains, "Here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that."

Science, bless its innovative soul, constantly reveals new realities. Many of them — global warming, nuclear weapons, overpopulation, threats to biodiversity — are pregnant with immense risk. Others, like genomics or stem cell research, offer great opportunity. But nearly all are freighted with a lack of truthiness.

And so our intellectual race with the Red Queen continues. Evolution did not equip Homo sapiens with ready access to insights that transcend our personal experience. But somehow, we'd better get over our stubborn bias toward "thinking" with our gut, which is to say, not thinking at all. And that's the truth.

My First (real) Christmas Eve

2008-12-24T15:16:00.003+04:00

Despite studying in the US for four years, I am actually celebrating my first Christmas eve with friends over here in the UAE. The reason for missing out on any Christmas related festivities in the US was my parents insistence that I return home for Christmas break (they missed me too much, I guess). I was most eager to return for Christmas break during my freshman year, when my homesickness was common. My aunt joked that it'll take a few months for me to lobby AGAINST coming back for Christmas breaks and summer vacation. I didn't believe her...until the end of sophomore year. haha.

Anyhow, back to my Christmas Eve celebration. I'm excited. I get to put my wrapped presents under a Christmas tree (a fake one, since real ones are costly here since they have to be imported). I was originally given the day off from work, but volunteered to work the day shift so I could give someone else in the office the chance to celebrate Christmas (I'm Muslim, while most of my colleagues aren't).

For those of you who are celebrating the season, a very Merry Christmas to you.

(Random note: I was looking for a picture I took of the large Christmas tree in Marina Mall, Abu Dhabi last year and realized that the palm tree and Christmas tree are almost the same height. See pic before the post to understand what I mean. This year, however, the Christmas tree at Marina Mall seems to have shrunk a couple of inches, so the two trees no longer align. Weird.)

Freedom in the Skies?

2008-12-24T14:02:00.004+04:00

It is one thing to report on an interesting phenomenon, but it is another thing to sensationalize and report on an event that misrepresents the society it is trying to portray.

As part of a series called 'Generation Faithful', the New York Times has been reporting on the youth of the Middle East, particularly focusing on their relationship with their faith (Islam, mostly).

I have to be honest. Some of the stories were interesting and worth reading, like 'Young and Arab in the Land of Mosques and Bars' which describes the schizophrenic situation of Dubai's culture.
But I was disappointed with a more recent story ('In Booming Gulf, Some Arab Women Find Freedom in the Skies'). This one is the epitome of American sensationalism when it comes to reporting on the Middle East. The feature's main premise states that there is a segment of women who escape their conservative culture by becoming flight attendants, and hence find their 'freedom in the skies' (particularly on board UAE-based airlines: Emirates and Etihad).

If the NYT would like to report on advancements in the cause of women in the Gulf, why not shed light on how Emirati women are outnumbering their male counterparts in graduation halls and the workplace. Arab women in the UAE serve as doctors, engineers and reporters (ahem ahem)- as professionals who don't rely predominantly on the looks, but rather on their intellectual capacity to contribute to the economic prosperity and overall development of the country. Why not report on the first female Emirati judge, the two newly elected female Emirati foreign ambassadors, or the two Ministers serving in the UAE Cabinet instead?

Furthermore, the story fails to give the reader a clearer sense of just how many Arab women work for the airlines mentioned. I don't have statistics but I am pretty sure that most of the stewardesses at Etihad and Emirates are actually European or South East Asian. Furthermore, the reporter undermines just how sexualized these stewardesses are (not my idea of female emancipation, to be honest). If there is one part of the story that I will agree with, it is this:

"It is impossible for an unveiled women in her 20s to go to a mall or grocery store in Abu Dhabi without being asked regularly by grinning strangers, if she is a stewardess."

If that above statement says anything, it is that these women have not escaped the glares of men who regard these women as glamorized prostitutes. Female liberation is something I hope for in this part of the world. Objectifying women and creating a niche job for them complying with sexist roles (housewife, airline stewardess etc...), however, is not a step forward in our journey towards independence and 'freedom'.

My First Church Wedding.

2008-12-24T13:33:00.000+04:00

...well, not really MINE.

Hollywood does not do justice to a Christian Wedding | The National | December 24, 2008

By Tala al Ramahi

The only church weddings I had witnessed were in Hollywood movies. That all changed last week though, when I was actually present in the church, instead of perched in front of my television set watching the ending of yet another romantic comedy.

After living in the UAE for nineteen years of my life, I am still amazed that it took this long for me to visit the church district in the Karama area of the capital.

Saint Andrew’s Church, the Greek Orthodox church in the capital, was a humble structure with an unassuming interior that could probably occupy no more than 200 congregants. St Andrew’s was definitely not as ostentatious as the churches that I had visited during my visits to European cities such as Vienna, Paris and London, but I was nevertheless pleasantly surprised by the various churches that catered to the different Christian denominations present here. There was even an Evangelical church under construction near by.

Unaware of Christian marriage ceremony etiquette, I dressed fairly modestly and arrived 20 minutes earlier than the time it was scheduled to begin.

As soon as the people stood up and turned to face the church door, I understood that it was time for the bride and groom to enter (that I concluded partly from avid movie watching, and partly from common sense). What came next though, was something very familiar, although it completely deviated from the romanticised Hollywood ceremonial norms. And the familiarity actually came from my years of witnessing Muslim marriage ceremonies of friends and family.

The priest commenced the ceremony by reciting some text from the New Testament in Arabic, and then proceeded to say some prayers for the bride and groom, in which we followed each prayer with “ameen”. Right before the ring exchange came the priest’s advice on the duties of the new couple: he first directed the bride to obey her husband because he is the head of the household, before advancing to the groom’s marital duties, which primarily included loving his wife dutifully. Finally came the ring exchange ceremony and the signing of the marriage contract.

Muslim theistic ceremonies do not deviate much from what I witnessed last week at Saint Andrew’s; if you replace the priest with a Muslim sheikh, the church with the wife to be’s home, and the New Testament with the Quran, the rest of the service was all-too-familiar. But it definitely did not resemble Hollywood’s romanticised version of the “I do” ceremony, that is almost always followed by a passionate kiss in front of the altar.

The actual service last week was more conservative, and more akin to what I expected out of a religious service, whether it be Christian, Muslim or otherwise.

What was particularly compelling, however, was how similar the words of advice from the priest were to those given to new Muslim couples. Popular public opinion, at least in non-Arab countries, is dominated by the erroneous assumption that Muslim marriages are plagued with an uneven distribution of power between husband and wife because the Muslim faith provides the husband with such authority. However, listening to the priest’s advice to the new bride, it seems that traditional roles for spouses in the Greek Orthodox faith remain largely unchanged as well, and are actually quite similar to traditional roles expected of Muslim couples.

Of course, the reality of Arab marriages, whether Muslim or Christian, has changed over time, and what is expected from conservative institutions is not always practised by more liberal couples. Furthermore, the changing realities, even the murky economic situation, has modified some century-old expectations. The husband is no longer always the sole breadwinner in the relationship and this role fits better in our globalised world.

In many parts of the world including this one, a single decent job cannot sustain a family anymore and so, the husband’s role as the “head of the household” is more symbolic than anything else. Female emancipation in the region has also sent more women to institutions of higher education and the workplace, allowing them to earn their own living and contribute to the household, which in turn gives them a larger say in household affairs and decision making.

After the ceremony at Saint Andrew’s Church, I left with a clearer sense of the common history and purpose between my Muslim faith and the Christian tradition that had I just witnessed. And as I walked past the Sheikh Mohammed bin Zayed mosque that was adjacent to one of the churches nearby, and heard the Muslim maghrib (sunset) call to prayer, I was overwhelmed by the beauty of the moment. The sun was setting on a day where two lives had just become one at the church, while just next door, Muslims were getting ready to perform their fourth mandated prayer.

Cultural Exchange Would be Nice

2008-12-24T13:10:00.000+04:00

Simon Mars, a TV producer based in Dubai, wrote a fine comment piece on the need for more curiosity (and proactive engagement) from the expat population about Emirati culture. It is rare to find someone who will admit that a large number of the expatriate population here in the UAE think of their new move to the country as transient, and hence do little to engage and immerse themselves in the local culture.

Of course, there is also the inexcusable excuse that there is "no culture" in the UAE. Yes, it will definitely be hard to find it if you're busy hoarding the malls every weekend.

Here's the the link to Mar's column.

A little more curiosity about the local culture would go a long way | The National | Dec 24, 2008
By Simon Mars

I have an Emirati friend who only started to wear an abaya after the September 11 attacks. Before then, she says, she frequently dressed in jeans and a T-shirt: something that occasionally provoked her parents into chastising her for wearing western dress and neglecting her traditional garb. But she didn’t care. She liked dressing the way she did; it was, she tells me, a statement of her own identity, and if it happened to sync with what young western women were wearing, so what?

Seven years later I never catch her without a hijab on. She wears it, she says, as a sign of solidarity, of belonging to a culture that she feels that has been demonised, at least in part, by the West since the attacks.

But her decision, she says, is also a response to the fact that she, along with many of her friends and relatives both male and female, feel increasingly isolated in their own country. It’s not just the physical landscape that has changed so rapidly around them. To understand what I am talking about you only have to visit some of the country’s shopping malls and see their pitiable signs asking Westerners to try and keep enough clothes on so as not to offend.

She and her friends feel more comfortable in local clothes. To them it’s sign that they still stand out in a country that many of them feel is being lost to them, in a population dwarfed by a huge influx of expatriates to whom life in the UAE has, for the most part, offered something better than what they left at home.

For the local population, the cultural imbalance is unsettling to say the least. It’s a situation, some of them believe, that will only get worse. To hear how widespread this fear has become, just listen to some of the local radio call-in shows – that is if you can speak Arabic – something else that’s keeping the cultures apart. Most Emiratis, at least among the younger population, speak English. But how many of us, including rather shamefully myself, can engage with them fully in their own tongue?

Among some Emiratis, I’m told, there is a certain satisfaction about the impact that the current economic slowdown is having on the expat population. A few of us returning to where we came from would not, for them, be a particular cause for concern. That said, that’s not a widespread view, and among most young Emiratis there’s a acknowledgement of the contribution expatriates have made in building what is the world’s most ambitious rising nation.

Standing on the beach at the Atlantis Hotel in what had been, until recently, the middle of the ocean, I looked back towards a skyline that had not been there the last time this particular friend of mine had visited, only seven years ago. It’s a fantastic achievement. Back then the first signs of something stirring in Dubai had been when the Burj al Arab had opened. The Emirates Towers were in their final stages of completion and that strip of the Sheikh Zayed Highway near the World Trade Centre roundabout had begun to be filled in – but the notion of the current development of Abu Dhabi’s islands or the possibility that in less than a decade one of them would be home to a formula one race would have brought nothing but incredulous laughter.

So it’s not surprising that such a transformation has produced a sense of cultural or social dizziness, a feeling of bewilderment, or even isolation among the local population. I believe that the time has come, especially now since we face an uncertain economic future, for the expat population to take steps to engage more with the local culture and perhaps, more importantly, with the local population.

But where do you start? The wonderful Freej cartoons are a good place. The cartoons are funny and well made but they also tell you certain truths about the society and traditions where we’re living. A trip to the museums is not a bad idea either. Get out in to the countryside if you can – spend Friday morning in a village such as Hatta and mingle with the local population as they leave Friday prayers.

Another way is to read a copy of Mohammed al Fahim’s Rags to Riches. The story sheds brilliant insight into the way Abu Dhabi was just a little while ago when the locals would still make the camel treck from the coast to the interior of Al Ain to escape the heat and humidity of the summer.

What you read will surprise and educate you. The book shares great insight into the local culture and what living through the first stage of Abu Dhabi’s modern development was really like. And also, if you happen to be British, the story includes a salutary assessment of our country’s behaviour here. In fact, if I had my way, a copy would be given to every expat arriving in the country with a test, a month later, to see what they had learned.

As we go forward it’s vital that locals and expats learn more about each other. It’s true that many locals feel they’ve learnt enough – and not all positive — about us, so perhaps the onus should be more on the other side of the equation. A greater curiosity on our part towards the country we’re living in would not be that bad a resolution for the New Year.

Al Bastakiya

2008-12-22T16:34:00.000+04:00

Now that I have finally visited Al Bastakiya, I am disappointed with myself that I have not visited that area sooner. The district, which dates back to the 1890s, is one of Dubai's oldest residential areas. In its prime, the neighborhood supported over 108 housing units, most of which were separated by narrow lanes. Partly to blame for my cultural bankrupcy is my secondary school; the only class trips we had were to malls (surprising?).

The area was refurbished and renovated in 1996 in order to turn the historic area into a tourist attraction. With the traditional 'freej' (Arabic for Emirati neighborhood) disappearing from the country's urban landscape (to give way to monotonous glass highrises and megamalls), Al Bastakiya is a breath of fresh air (literally, and otherwise).

And now that Dubai Events Management has launched the Saturday open market there, there are even more reasons to visit. The quarter now houses 2 cafes (one permanent one, and another temporary one set up just for the market), as well as several galleries nestled inside some of the houses and courtyards. And if you are like many of the expats (and visitors) to the country who are looking for some authentic local cuisine, visit the new restaurant they have 'Al Bait al Mahali' (roughly translates to: The Local House). The restaurant manager dubs it as the first independent Emirati cuisine restaurant, and will serve the food sans cutlery (unless you are really desperate). For those of you unfamiliar with the UAE's cuisine, I suggest you try the 'harees', a porridge like dish made of minced meat and wheat.

The central courtyard was also a main feature of traditional Emirati architecture, as many extended families lived around the same courtyard. Much has changed now, but it is worth visiting Al Bastakiya to understand what I am talking about.
Here are a few pictures I took from the day to give you an idea of what to expect.

Ah, Journalism in the M.E.

2008-12-22T16:25:00.001+04:00

I almost got a beating over the phone (metaphorically speaking) from a Press Officer today who said she refuses to send us any more press releases because we "do not publish them." This is not the first time reporters from our paper have been faced by this quizzical response. For some absurd reason, press officers in the country have mistaken the role of newspapers for advertising outlets.

For the umpteenth time, we are not an advertising outlet! We have specific parts of our paper for you to pay for that space, and our stories are not one of them- thank you very much.

Window Marketing

2008-12-21T14:36:00.000+04:00

(caption: Part of Kenneth Cole's window display at Abu Dhabi Mall, UAE)

Why can't all marketing campaigns be as intelligent as Kenneth Cole's? The American retailer always has the most interesting marketing campaigns- like this one I spotted at its Abu Dhabi Mall outlet. I am always eager to walk past their window display just to see what they have been up to.

Apparently, whenever a customer shops for over 100$ at the store, Kenneth Cole donates $10 to the charity of their choice. A charitable AND intelligent marketing campaign? Another good reason to purchase another pair of shoes...(sorry mom, I know you told me not to)

Muslim Christmas

2008-12-21T12:28:00.000+04:00

For those who doubt that the United Arab Emirates is intolerant to its Christian minority, please wander the shopping malls this Christmas season- and be surprised (or not). Spot the odd picture out.

National Day (a little late)

2008-12-21T12:00:00.000+04:00

I finally got the chance to upload the photos I took from National Day celebrations on December 2, 2008. Abu Dhabi promised to outdo the $20 million Atlantis official extravaganza. I -honestly- am not sure if they actually did, but they nevertheless were impressive.

What I was particularly in awe of was the universality of the celebrations this year. Americans, Brits, and Indians were all taking part in commemorating the UAE's 37th birthday, and the emotions all seemed genuine. Even the laborers, who arrived at the Corniche parade in bus loads were dancing and waving the UAE flag in geniune glee. Maybe they were truly happy for the opportunities they are provided with here, or maybe they found this a rare day to join the rest of the people in celebrating happiness.

Here are a few pics from the day:

Something to do in Dubai...

2008-12-18T16:32:00.000+04:00

...besides mall-hopping.

The weather is more than bearable in the UAE right now. Actually, it even gets (dare I say) chilly at night. If you are looking for something to do in Dubai on a lazy Saturday afternoon, why not visit Al Bastakiya's new outdoor market. Capitalize on the beautiful (and sometimes, lazy) weather, and don't forget to bring some cash, too (if the economic downtown hasn't dried up your funds yet).

With this year being earmarked the year of National Identity, shouldn't we do our part? Why not start by actually visiting one of the hidden gems of Dubai city: Al Bastakiya is one of Dubai's most interesting heritage districts. A lot of the architecture and homes that are nestled in this area of Bur Dubai are over 100 years old, but have, of course, been refurbished to attract visitors.

(photo courtesy of: http://flickr.com/photos/cheeseboy/2993515880/)

The market at Al Bastakiya will accomodate over 50 vendors that will be selling artsy accessories, including arts and crafts, jewelery, (even clothes!) from Dubai-based designers and indie boutiques. There will also be live outdoor music and a cafe at one of the courtyards of the neighbourhood. Think of it as a Farmer's market-cum-flea market a la Dubai glamour.

Ditch the hassle of Mall of the Emirates for the weekend, and opt for an easy breezy afternoon strolling through Al Bastakiya. The market is open from 10am to sunset, every Saturday. And for all you parking-skeptics: don't worry! Free valet parking is available at the market.

For more info: Click Here.
You can thank me later ;)

Airbrushing Our Memories

2008-12-18T15:07:00.000+04:00

Digital Photos May be Pretty, but will vanity airbrush our memories too?
The National | December 16, 2008

By Tala Al Ramahi

Two years ago, my family and I decided it was time that we had a family portrait taken. My sister and I were both visiting from college, and my two brothers were going through a growth spurt, dwarfing not only my sister and I, but my parents as well. And the relatively new addition to our family, my five-year old brother, had yet to steal the spotlight of any of our formal family portraits. We could not leave such changes undocumented any longer.

As technologically adept as we were (or at least, my siblings and I), we unanimously decided that a professional photographer with a studio who could “tweak” the photographs a little would present us with photographs that we would treasure most. Instantly after our photo session, we were invited to view the pictures on a 42-inch flat screen television in order to select the photos that we wanted to “process” and print. Two weeks later, we picked up the photographs, but as I relished my new blemish-free skin, courtesy of Photoshop, my Mother reacted to another kind of photo refinement: “Those are not your dad’s hands!”, she shrieked. And she was right. They, most definitely, were not. It seemed that our over eager photographer had taken the art of doctoring his photos a little too far.

But he isn’t alone in such a pursuit of perfection. Technology has allowed us, average Moe’s, to be able to do just that. Editing our photographs no longer means the simple use of the “red eye reduction”, but has become a more nuanced process that includes airbrushing, nose-thinning, and thigh-slimming – processes that have slowly spilt over from spreads in fashion magazines to facebook profile pictures. We can now use the programme, Picassa, for example, to blur our photos, in order to, well, blur out, any imperfections we posses. HP also ingeniously capitalised on our vanity by producing a digital camera that promises to make us appear ten pounds slimmer. Who needs to diet for an important function when we can slim ourselves without the caloric deprivation and painful gym visits?

I am old enough to remember when we still used 35mm film cameras. It was, after all, less than ten years ago that digital technologies became available. Before that, someone posed while another looked through the peep hole and clicked the shutter. We then had to wait until we finished the whole roll before the film could be processed. The sheer anticipation of discovering how the photographs turned out was part of the novelty of the photo taking process. Now, all we have to do is look at the LCD screen on our digital cameras, click, and repeat. Often. We get infinite second chances at perfecting our pose, figuring our best side and finely adjusting our facial profiles to most effectively get rid of our double chin.

While going digital has certainly improved the state of our photographs, our vanity has more often than not trumped the spontaneity of the moment we are trying to capture. We begin to notice that our digital albums are filled with monotonous photographs; we start to continuously pose in the manner that most aesthetically flatters us, rather than allowing our imperfections to create an unpredictable, more “real” picture of the moment. I can only imagine what will happen twenty years from now, when I start to compare the photographs that were taken by film with the ones I took digitally. Will I lament the fact that the digital process took out the reality from my perfectly poised, finely doctored photos? Will nostalgic scans through digital albums remind me of an alternative reality; one where I had “perfect” skin and flattering lighting throughout my young-adult years? Or will I be able to recall the reality of the moment, with all its imperfections that make me, and everyone else human. Unpredictability is the essence of life – if only our vanity didn’t urge us to edit that out of our lives.

**********

On another photography-related note: Polaroid Corporation announced earlier this year that it would discontinue the production of the film used for its instant Polaroid cameras. By 2009, they will no longer be in stock. Photography enthusiasts will miss witnessing the transformation of the ghostly murk of chemicals into a colour miniature masterpiece. In ten years, I can only imagine that shimmying away to OutKast’s 2004 hit, “Hey Ya”. I will sing along to the lyrics, “shake it like a Polaroid picture”, but my children, when and if I have any, will have absolutely no idea what that means.

talramahi@thenational.ae

Comic Relief for the Sole

2008-12-18T15:03:00.000+04:00

The NYTs published some of the best comments it received from the infamous shoe-throwing incident. Here they are: Comments for the distressed sole.

Best of Reader's Comments | New York Times | December 16, 2008

By Eric Owles AND Stephen Farrell

BAGHDAD — The shoe-hurling Iraqi journalist has brought out the puns in readers. More than 1,000 people have sent in their comments so far and most are guaranteed to make you groan out loud. Web sites have been launched allowing readers to throw a virtual shoe. While many American commentators appeared to take delight in the incident, a number of readers expressed disgust that people were laughing about it. If President Bush hadn’t moved so quickly to avoid the flying footwear the scene in the news conference could have been much more serious.

Below are selection of the jokes from our comment section. We’ve left out a few popular ones. For example, it seems everyone from Boston to Arizona wants Muntader al-Zaidi to join their local baseball team. Of course the best quip may still be the one made by President Bush who nimbly ducked two shoes and responded: “All I can report is it is a size 10.”

Best (or Worst?) of Reader’s Comments:
Shoe-icide bomber! Let’s not forget if this journalist had thrown his shoes at Saddam, he would lucky to be merely tortured to death.
– Clay Gilchrist

Gotta say the man can duck. The other guy, a real heel.
– Jim in STL

These shoes are made for walking,
And that´s just what they´ll do,
One of these days these shoes are gonna walk all over you……..
– mojoe

WHITE HOUSE PRESS RELEASE — NEWS FLASH –TOP PRIORITY — EFFECTIVELY IMMEDIATELY: ALL WHITE PRESS CORP CORRESPONDENTS WEARING A SIZE 3 OR LARGER SHOE WILL BE RESTRICTED ACCESS TO THE WHITE HOUSE UNTIL JANUARY 21ST, 2009.
– Chas Madden

“Wag The Dog!” Goooood Old Shoe(s)! Who knew?
– Chas Madden

I take off my hat to the man who took off his shoes. A lame duck president practises duck and cover manoeuvres. i bet half the people forced to remove their shoes at airports would have gladly joined into shooing Bush away.

He missed! What a heal!
– Don Heinz

Walk a mile in those shoes, George Walker!!!
– Brian

Old American proverb–”If the shoe fits, wear it!!”
– Stephenasomerstein

The Reporter was “shoeing” Bush and the American military-industrial complex the door!
– George

Obama is going to have some pretty big shoes to fill!
– amsterdammer

Freedom of Speech meets Voting with Your Feet.
– Alfonso

Great chin music. This guy is a “shoe-in” for Pitcher of the Year.
– jadern

I hear Sarah Palin only wants Jimmy Choo’s thrown at her.
– Steve G

If the shoe fits……….
– merc

Will the much-flaunted American system of equal justice now throw the book at George W. Bush and his assorted henchmen and thugs?
– Nat Solomon

A journalist’s only weapon is to throw shoes? What a heel, in any culture.
– Dave

We have finally found the WMD’s and they are 11 EEE’s.
– Dolly Llama

Gives new meaning to Texas two-step. Way to go Iraqi journalist!
– Michael Crane

“Bush finally found those Weejuns of mass destruction.”
– William LeGro

It was only a matter of time until the other shoe dropped! It only took 8 years for someone to stand up to Bush.
– jhm

Possible headlines for the NY Post:
Pres Gets the Boot!
Presidential Shoe In.
Presidential Insult Afoot.
President Bears Arab Sole.
A Well-Heeled President.
Shoe to Displease.
President, Footing the Bill.
US Head Over Heels.
These Boots are Made for Revolting.
Sock it to ‘em, George.
Iraqi Reporter Steps Up,
Reporter “Puts” Foot in Presidents Mouth.
Lame Duck- Ducks Two Shoes.
President Ducking Da Feet.
The real headline—
Ducking US Car Makers, President Ducks Iraqi Shoes.

He shoe got what he deserved!
– T.Tai

Shoe-throwing Terrorism?

2008-12-15T16:04:00.001+04:00

I am assuming you live on the moon if you haven't heard of the respectable journalistic standards (no sarcasm here) of one Iraqi journalist:

Iraqi Journalist Throws Shoes at Bush in Baghdad | CNN | December, 15, 2008

Of course, CNN is quick to (erroneously) point out that "hurling shoes at someone, or sitting so that the bottom of a shoe faces another person, is considered an insult among Muslims."
First off, I am pretty sure that hurling your shoe at someone is an insult in ANY society. And it is Arabs (NOT Muslims), that find the sole of a shoe insulting when facing their face.

As hilarious as the shoe-thrower incident was, I am a little worried that we, Muslims, will have to walk barefoot from now on..Hrmm.
This might actually solve my mom's agony over my ever-growing shoe collection.
And it actually just occurred to me that official press conferences might become barefoot events for us, journalists. Let's my journalist peers adhere to strict hygiene standards!

(Caption: Me, practicing walking barefoot from now on)

Arab Career Women and Love

2008-12-15T14:57:00.000+04:00

Career Women Again Look to Their Parents for Love
By Tala Al Ramahi

After years of finding and losing love (or not finding time to look for it any more) career-driven and emancipated women in the West are turning to matchmaking websites, such as eHarmony.com, to find a serious partner. Their modern Arab counterparts, while also independent and educated, are turning to a more traditional marriage broker: their parents.

As more and more Arab women are gaining university degrees, and entering the workforce, they have been faced with the same dilemma confronting their emancipated sisters elsewhere: how to focus on a serious career while simultaneously being on the lookout for a serious partner. Female liberation, they have found out, comes with its drawbacks.

The continuing economic boom in Dubai (and now Abu Dhabi) has attracted bachelors by the tens of thousands; career-driven and eligible men from all over the Arab world (and beyond) are employed by local companies as consultants, bankers and engineers to help to shape and catapult growth.

So, in theory, there should be many opportunities for Arab women to meet “eligible” bachelors. The reality is a little different. Most of these “eligible” men have a lot in common: they are young, career-focused and transitional – waiting for the next grand opportunity to come along. They are more likely to country-hop until they have found their final destination, and are subsequently in no hurry to be shackled by the responsibilities of a family.

This leaves “modern” Arab women – who would once have shunned the idea of an arranged marriage for the hope of a love courtship that would eventually lead them down the aisle – with few options; their parents being the most dependable. It is an option that also allows career-driven women, who are unable to invest the effort and time necessary to find spouses on their own, to fall back on a selfless matchmaker.

The modern-day version of the arranged marriage, though, is a little different from the traditional one; most notably, the woman is not being forced into matrimony. Instead, the Arab woman is using the people who know her best and have her interests at heart to take part in the matchmaking process and recommend a prospective groom.

The woman still has the right to veto the recommendation, and is usually allowed to meet the possible suitor alone to see if there is any “chemistry” between them. It also helps the Arab woman to filter out the “eligible” bachelors who are not seeking a serious courtship. This not only saves the woman time, but also helps to avoid potential heartbreak by committing time (and emotion) to a man who was not really interested in a matrimonial commitment in the first place.

This new-old method of including parents in the marriage equation is not, in fact, so different from signing up for an account with a matchmaking website. For a start, people who sign up for such websites are usually looking for serious suitors. And while eHarmony will require its applicants to answer more than 250 questions about personality traits and values, the Arab woman’s parents already know them, along with all the idiosyncrasies that cannot possibly be incorporated into a website.

Eharmony then uses a complex algorithm to match its users who have “common interests” because, according to Neil Clark Warren, the website’s founder, “it is so much better to love someone who is a lot like you”. Whether or not it is “better”, it is undoubtedly easier, especially when children come into the picture. And parents, from their years of experience in the matter, already know that. Which is why, while traditional arranged marriages matched men and women whose parents had a mutual interest in, say, property or land, modern arranged marriages focus on more pragmatic considerations: socioeconomic status, education, religion – even political beliefs.

Savvy Arab women who have lost hope in love need not resort to Carrie Bradshaw for advice when a less fashionable but probably wiser alternative is at their disposal.

Divorce rates in the United States – a country where most marriages are love matches – are depressingly high: above 50 per cent, in fact. And with romantic novels and Hollywood movies ingraining the “happily ever after” notion in the minds of many a woman, it is no surprise that large numbers of couples assume that love will conquer all.

Don’t get me wrong (I, too, am a helpless romantic): love can and will conquer all – but sometimes it takes the right ingredients to make the courtship last. And an Arab woman who turns to her parents for advice on an institution that they have upheld for so long is not taking a step back in female liberation. There is no rule that says that love and logic cannot go hand in hand.

Just Where (Do) I Belong (?)

2008-12-15T14:35:00.000+04:00

It is an ugly feeling not knowing where you belong. It is an even uglier feeling knowing just where you do, and then being consistently denied that right of knowing, of belonging, by people around you.
The fear that some of my comrades still saw at me as an outsider crept most recently, in the form of an email (as a response to one my newspaper columns). The ironic thing is that my column was a celebration of the UAE's pluralism, and an appeal to reconsider 'tolerance' as an integral part of our national identity.
According to one reader, I wasn't even in a position to be writing about national identity, as I am a "foreigner" to this country. Yes, indeed. I am a foreigner who was born and bred here. My grandfather helped found this country 37 years ago, and I am now working in its capital, instead of pursuing my bigger dreams abroad.
I am unsure in what dictionary I would be a "foreigner", but I am certain that Oxford, even our Declaration of Independence would disagree.

Long Overdue

2008-12-11T16:36:00.000+04:00

It's been almost 17 months since I returned to the UAE, after completing my undergraduate degree at Stanford University. I promised myself I would start a blog as soon as I arrived in order to document the (oh so confusing) journey of returning "home".
As you can see, that never happened- and my transition has yet to be documented. I've settled back home (with the parents) and have been working for almost a year now. I've suffered the counterintuitive phenomenon of reverse culture shock, which, believe it or not, was more serious than the culture shock I suffered when I landed alone, in the US at the mere age of 17.
A lot of things have been delayed (setting up my own business and getting this blog up and running, for example), but applying to Graduate School hasn't been been one of them. I just sent in my final application to Columbia Graduate School, and now I have my fingers crossed- until I get the replies.
That said, I am not sure if I will venture East again. Circumstances have changed since I returned. My apprehension of coming back to the UAE, after four years of living alone, has subsided (not entirely, though), and life here in the Arab world has become more endurable. The longer I am here, the less I am reminded of all the "little freedoms" I took for granted when living alone in the US. But then, there are times when I realize that we still have many strides to take if we would like to become part of the developed world. That could be another incentive for me to stay. My dad says I tend to walk away from problems, or shove them under the carpet, and emigrating would just prove him right.

This is life I guess. Constantly changing. Never constant.
Till my next post, hold on to this rollercoaster ride called life.

(caption: My final Stanford "Dinner on the Quad", before returning to the UAE. In the background is Stanford's Memorial Church, a non-denominational church)